he has felt too much more of it..he is reachin to his dying days. he dun seem to b respected. he dun seemed to b cared. his feelings always feelin it. always seeing thngs he dun like. but sumhow afta how much he said or reacted, theres jus no feedback from tat. he jus felt tat d 1 din really understand him. how sad or hurt he felt. it always happens. y is he so shitty screwd tat way. wat he felt always is there. he felt wat she does, to c wat she does is true of wat he felt. too much of sorrow dwelled in him, n she doesn giv a sign of a star to him where he nids her most. he culdnt shut his eyes as he wil c hurtin signs runnin thru his mind. he cant stay in dark empty room alone as he wil cries to his death. he culdnt c d blade as d temptation of bleedin himself is there. at nite all alone gazing at d darkness out of his window. a future there for him? theres no life for him anymore. a lost hope is more to come. he felt his trust being betrayed. sum1 being hypocritical claimin of d one being good. emotional games playin in his mind. flashbak of the worse memories he had. it hurt him so bad. it hurts alot more than any1 culd tink. tons of thoughts. is he more than valuable? pls death, end his life right away..as he wil c nor feel no sufferin anymore in tis world of betray n deceit. his heart achin so badly now...... stab a sword of fire in his heart, burnin wit fiery flames of anger..darkness overwhelmed..no more gods...



*tales of vengeance, deep grudge of valour

a cancer in his head,
spreadin from his mind to his heart,
heart to his soul,
destroyin every single thng bout him,
d best moment,
d best memory,
d best of all,
wat isit is tat to b left to kept,
he is lost in his own world,
no light to shine him through d dark,
no path for him to walk through d woods,





he is lost, very lost...days go by turnin into sum kind of a human each day, he is fucked..very fucked..inner him, inner feelings of his negative side sprawlin over him..clueless of wat gonna happen nex..d stubborness of him, d hot head of him..being mad at almost anythn around him..he needs to calm..he needs to get bak to himself hu he use to b..not d monster of wat is it now..but 1 thng he feels, he enjoys bein a monster sumtimes, a guilty pleasure feeling..no sense of moral in him anymore at d end of d day..a thrash of society, to b un-respected..yes, its an UN..b4 its too late, wat can save him from d judgement day of his own??..as d positived hav already abandoned him..

fuckin off..

im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not wellL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its like almost 5am now!!! n stil in front of d pc...talkin to tis guy name ji mi tat is my ex schoolmae of my ex school n surprisnly wonderin y he is up so freakin late jus to realise he jus over his high skul years n can do wateva he wans at tis hour..he must watchin youporn..i tink..hahaha..he is givin definition of my pic..n to a conclusion my msn pic is a thornography pic over wat d pic looks like..a rapist from d rose bush fill wit fuckin thorns pokin trhu his head, make him bleed n bite a gal on d neck..n her boobs is exposed slightly, but covered by shadows..its jus a cradle of filth theme pic..wth!..
its all bout d days today, goin out meet up wit old frens..i wack shazzz hard up so called boobs *muscle chest*, n its so fuckin tough..it really tire me out as we walk like duno how many freakin hours n get lost in d darn pavillion fill kaya raya org sana..ish, i feel like wanna rob sumthn..oh.in TS i met suzuki n d gang, n in pavi, i met fariz my classmate, n nazri n nick *form4*..yea..wat a coincedence..others duno go where..i did met too dinie, i din kno dinie start hangin out wit shazz n denise n kasturi as well..hahah..from there all split up, me wit my neighbour/fren harith wen bak to sungei wang n bak to TS, LRT, from ampang station walk home climb thru d fence for d 1st time, make me feel like a cool superspy..i kno tats fuckin lame..i shud do it more often nex time..jump over d fence into d apartment!!..ok..tired..tats all for it..
thngs r abit differ tis days..i feel like a changed person again..another changed self of mine..i like being colder, n darker, n duno wat else..no more mr nice billy boy..he is dead..so long..c ya in my grave!!..



scar symmetry n sanctity rulz my ears

its monday, 1st weekday of d holidays..its blood splattered time!!time for ppl to die!!..

oh gosh., jus lookin at my blog to c..cool..post seems of a guy goin dead, anger, depression,sadness,intriguin me to write more...tis is demented...i like d feeling of it..its nice..releasing the inner self, d darker self..fuckin in tis place wit words of doom n disaster..no peace, no land to live..dying life, fading souls..a new world orderrr..death death death death death death..

god knos hu is bleeding now, he doesn kno he is bleeding wit dark red blood inside accumulatin in his heart of pain..heart fill wit needles goin thru each time..

its been a day of not so good day sittin at d table his ass hurts..puttin numbers into his head..it doesn seem tat easy afterall even afta d dropage of d worst fuckin subject..mentally not well..wateva d fuck is it..dun giv a dam..proceedin on wit his life in a differ way..doin wat he likes alot..five finger death punch a new band he discovered..d music suits d inner emotion of him..self portrait of anger n depressed n sadness..life is on d road once again..

i missed d bleeding through concert,how fuckin shiity is tat..i hav been longing to go to theirs..i wan to watch 1 of my fav bands playin..stil i culdn make it..thx alot!..screw it..

holidays gonna b a long 1 n a shitty 1..hopefully it wunt b tat way..im easily annoyed, angry n all..nvm..tats cool wit me..i dun giv a shit..hu gonna tink d other way bout me..for those hu fuckin hates me..mark ur fuckin mouth n words..even ur fuckin heart of pure shits..it hav been a long time keepin my fist n fury..it feels good to hav tat in those faces i wan it to hav on to!!..do not annoy me..

When souls depart is reall darn inactive tis days..thx to busy-ness n d controled by sum elder ppl..fuck tat..anyhow, a new vocal is in..soon to hav another guitar in it..bleeding through live in KL on 9th march..wanna go there real badly..1 of my fav band..fuckin deathcore shit!..darn brutal wit melo..wish thngs turn out good for me to go to d gig..im gettin sick stayin at home always n being away from d crowds..
How nice..a fren of mine turn christian..i duno y, it feels like im opposite towards it n havin feelings of thngs arent the way b4..he turn softer though..im gonna so im so not into religion, i may b a free thinker but im more to against it..y?..i dislike d holy?..i prefer bein a free man hu can do anythn he wan in tis world than followin rules..guess its more to tat..can jus fuck around anytime without botherin hu eva tryin to stop me to..its better being tis way than being in a religion to worship sumthn we r not sure of its existence..it culd kill us 1 day..
im havin sum kinda mix feelings nowadays..its hard to explain but it aint tat good most of d time..i can jus screw sum fuckas up anytime..not in a good state..chill now man..signin off..

ok..its not been a good start n all tis fuckin time in tis fuckin year..almost weeks of battered n splatterd of my fuckin self..tats jus so cool...im a pissed up person..seriously,im a dam pisser coz im dam fuckin pissed now..i c hatred in my eyes towards others tat hav hatred to me..i can jus come now fuckin fuck them rite in their face!..i heard thngs bout me wen i pass by sum of them..if u ppl tink ur dam big, hit me fuckas, then let me jus giv u a reply to tat hit more sweeter than wat u gav..im an extremely angry guy tis days, im hyper sensitive than usual, im blurrer than usual, i tend to forget simple stuf more than usual, i bump into thngs always, losing myself, its like sumthn im really not satisfies about is unanswered..i love playin music alot more than studies, i wan play n make music more than being a fuckin man in suits goin to work,i wan freedom more than doin tat..i dun giv a fuck bout how much i earn.. im a big a sinner, a deadly sinner..no god in me..he is gonna hate me soon or mayb he does now..i wan do wat i wan, i do wat i feel like to..i wan freedom!!i hated being controled at home..i vowed to move out anytime to live on my own wen i can..im gettin sick of livin wit parents even 1 of them is being so tak munasabah controllin d fuck out of me!..dam, tis sounds darn angry..
ANYHOW, I WULD LIKE TO THK TO SUM PPL HU APPRECIATE TIS BLOG N KEEP UP TO DATE WIT IT..ITS A SURPRISE I FOUND OUT SUM1 HU DO LIKES MY BLOG..THKS..GRATITUDE FROM D DEMON WITHIN..