..he jus dun get it..y is she always on others side instead of on his side..its like alot of thngs he do is not really d good thng, n like others is better than him..y she is always on her frens side eventho sum thngs its obviously its their fault n d guy is innocent n stil is like d wrong is more on d side of d guy..tots of paranoia intrigue his mind..he wans to kno d importance of himself to her..how much isit..d most n most of all..sum thngs, is like d others jus dun understand much d feelings of their partners..its really waste wen a gal or guy jus throw d 1 so eva d best n good to d wasteland,wastin their life, wastin them..n wats in d hatred list d most is involvement of a 3rd party, of words of others, jus by d lil words..thngs go in d wrong way..not all of them r good, not all of them care, ppl shud kno..there sure is a reason on y they do tis..y they say tis..hati manusia tidak boleh diselam eventho kenal lama, so am i..ppl hu deserve it only get wat is good n wat is bad..tink him/her b4 listenin to others..he/her kno d best eventho they may not b known as long as others..he/her cares d most..partner knos he/her d best..do trust him/her most.

im welcoming myself bak to d days..a more improving bak to d days..a more colder self..a more cooler self..oh wateva..good thngs do come bak unconcsciously coz its not really wat i hope for..wat i hope good stuf to happen is..wel, it can b figured out easily..i got Evon today..she is a red beauty to me eventho its not d best yet..d sound of it is superb compare to Irony..collect it from guitar collection today 22 feb...n yes, all d waitin for her..finally i got my hands on..my finger dance happily on her body..making d most evil sound i can freaking get..new wave of billy's heavy metal..new attitude, new style..yea!!!..keganasan rulz!!!..tis days not talkin much..expressionless once again,.its already a second nature to me..i cant talk anymore..wel, mayb not..tats kinda depends on me..i kinda feel neglected, or not to b cared..

Im evil.... hit me...evil lies within.

no fuckin emo gay songs, no hapi hapi soundin songs..its all bout anger n aggression!!!..

sign,
d boy hu cried wolf..mr screwd head..

yes to SUM fuckaroo readers..tis boy here aint hapi,he is fuckin pissed til his pissing in his dogs mouth..tats sick to d stomach man..pissed in ur ass dude..or wateva u r..u r jus a pissed of shit..tis boy here is betrayed, he felt lost n all..wat he has fuckin done?..oh yes, he did alot of fuckin bad stuf, so fuckin wat, fuck off if u ppl aint hapi..a boy hu only deserve d cold, he was borned tis way, wateva d way he freakin is, is not goin to changed in him..he is hu he is, sum fuckaroo out there aint hapi..i love it wen they r not hapi of him..d more hatred he gets, d more powerful he becomes a loner..yes, he is always alone in his own dark world..n he wans to kno..sumthn he learn from sum1, oh god, how d fuck u defined a fuckin muthafucka??.black chinese, white chinese..oh hell, wateva..there r jus too many muthafucka tis days..being in tis world of jus pissin n shittin in ur parents pants..wipe it off their faces..y d hell is parents involve in here..wateva!!>.he is jus too pissed to release of anythn..jus tel him d truth or he wans to kno d truth eh..full of curiosity n doubt in him..d boy hus been feelin so so so so so so pain n pitiful in his life, thngs he had done din even pay off but he dun mind, i felt so bad n pitiful for him..cryin in his dark corners..cryin blood of tears..for sum muthafuckas..y u doin tis man..
go to hell bastard n bitches..screw in hell bastards n bitches..







P.S: d guy aint wat he really is in real life, jus tat its been written tat way bout him..a pitiful shit.



tat jus feels gooood

I can say im not tat attach to family members..tis year reunion..im alot more soft spoken n quieter..im no more d hapi care to care around n talk happily always smilin here n there..not anymore now..at d boey side..not much cous..only d eldest n d rest around my age r gals..in cny, we talk alot..bout skuls, stuf, jokes n all..last time we use to play kejar outside d compound..now every1 has grown..bein in relationships n all..conflicts..depression..hard times.... me n my cous talk mostly bout her n my relationshipt..tats d thng tat keep us talkin n talkin or mayb sumtimes bout movies n all..n d thngs she can make..wel..we r tat use to keep sayin n being so proud being a boey..as its so uncommon around..shes a boey in her own way...n im a boey in my own way..im jus really detached from my families, even wit d boeys..i jus dun hav d spirit anymore..d family spirit is not much in me..sooner or later..im gonna feel like a stranger..i jus wanna live on my own wit only sum1 to b wit..livin independantly n all..but tats only wen time to come..n allowance by parents..i felt not anymore my old self of how i am being so so hapi to always stick around wit family members..i prefer bein more self centered..by tis can tel how much i changed from last time til now, even from last year can make alot of difference in me..wat wil i b nex year?..a guy livin in his own cell?..lyin dead anywhere?..thngs r jus so complicated..

Birthday:

I didn do much on my bday..its jus a plain there of being alone wit sum1 teman-nin me in sms..thx to all hu wishes me..n special thx to her for wishin tons of times before,on,n afta my bday..simply pick a move to watch n i watch gabriel in mbo galaxy ampang..its shit movie..nex i choose meet the spartans..d jokes r freakin lame..its like no more jokes n simply put any kind of jokes dun care lame anot..my bro is sick..he cant watch wit me..its sad to c him sufferin lidat..wish to b in his place..i got my hair cut..n its kinda screwed..wel, so wat..i jus dun really giv a dam bout my hair..jus wan it to b long..she wen down to malacca today..my turn is 2mrw..

malacca:

d '2mrw' is postponed to d 1st day of cny as my bro is dam sick to move..d nex day we wen down to malacca n finally im gettin nearer to her but i cant c her..check into sum kind of budget hotel n it suck totally..afta meetin up at my uncle house..d day is over..now is bout d nex day..we wen bak to my uncle house n talk n eat n talk n eat..n then we all wen to Jonker street..sum kind of place..famous street..alot of cheap unique thngs to get..i got sum stuf..afta tat saw an asshole performin, in stead of performin..he jus talkin shit n promotin his god dam products..later wen to my dad best fren house..sum shit happen there..as in..a malay family came to visit n surprisingly d malay family gav us red pocket containin rm10..she gav to my bro n miss me out..then she realise she missed me n gav me d red pocket..nex is another visitor..an aunt hu almost menopause or mayb menopaused..she gav my bro d red pocket n forgot bout me..1st time, my family were laughin at me..claimin i look too old for 1..i kno i look old..i laugh at my bro for stil considered a lil kid..laugh out loud at himit doesn matter..i dun mind at all..d best part is drinkin..i jus love alcohol..i drank lots of it..beer n wine all together til i got drunk..n im feelin d best for myself tat nite..im being more open n more daring to speak rather than being fuckin quiet n all..i got really drunk..dam drunk..i worry i might do sumthn crazy there..my dad tel uncle tan to giv me only a glass of wine but uncle tan sneakingly behind my dad gav me more than twice..its really good..i jus like being drunk..i enter d car n start laughin..n talkin shit..
aunt: u ok anot?
mum; yea la, u like drunk now..
me: im fine la, only dad duno how he drive, like drunk man, drive until i also dun feel well.
dad: huh?..*driving so steadily*..im drivin so steady..ur drunk dy.
me: me?..hahah..no drunk..hahahah!!..barry come i wrestling u *grab my bro*
barry: *seems freaked out being beside a drunk guy*..get lost!!.
aunt: eh billy, dun play..
me: hahahahaha..dam nice..i wan more..nex year uncle tan say wan giv stronger like vodka n tequila..i wan more..
dad: dun make it a habit..i at ur age also no drink like u.
me: hahaha!!im way better than u..im 17 n i drink more!..hahahaha!!..
dad: i tink tis runs in d family..we r family of drinkers..all like to drink..
barry: .......
mum: .....
aunt: ooh........
Boeys r insane......
i drop to my knee afta i came out of d car..walk groggily to d door steps..enter room straight away lie on bed..aunt came in n i ask for more wine..i heard d word wine outside d common room n wen out to ask if theres any..all shoooo me bak to d room..i wan more..but wat i wan actually..is HER....
d nex day...i feel real fine n start eatin alot of mee goreng..came home rice..came home kl fried rice..alot of thngs..they call me d chilli king afta i being d only person eatin d rice n mix alld sambal in d rice until its really red..its jus tasty..every1 like nvr seen tat kind of way of eatin b4...b4 left for KL..i did my first prayers since d last trip i came to malacca last year forgot wen..do bless me..... I miss her.. I love her..

Part 1:On the outside
Name: jus call me 'THE DEVIL'
Date of Birth: February the 5th?
Current Status: Not single..goin to married
Eye Colour: brown..i guess
Hair Colour: Pure black..black wil always b black..my personality colour too
Righty or Lefty: Total frggin Lefty
Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

Part 2: On the Inside
Your Heritage: Chinese, pure cantonese
Your Fear: Losing her..
Your Weakness: she being not hapi

Part 3: Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow
Your thoughts first waking up: I wan her..How is she?.wat she doin?..is she awake?..I love her
Your bedtime: my bedtime so inconsistent
Your most missed memory: all d sweet memories wit LHM

Part 4: Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
McD's or Burger King: Burger king 1st, 2nd McD
Single or Group Dates: of coz single..I hate disturbance
Adidas or Nike: Nike.
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Lipton tea i tink..coz its pure english tea?
Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate d best eva
Cappuccino or Coffee: coffeeeeee

Part 5: Do You . . .
Smoke: Use to
Curse: my 2nd nature..u can c tat on me most of d time
Drink: YES!!

Part 6: In the Past Month
Drank alcohol: yea, mayb i did
To the mall:yes
Been on stage: no, eventho suppose to tat time but thngs din worked out well
Eaten sushi: Yesss i tink
Dyed your hair: nvr b4

Part 7: Have You Ever?
Played a stripping game: Yes.
Changed who you were to fit in: No..i nvr did..but i did try to b a more holier person once, but it din work out wel for me..it makes me feel worse..i prefer my devil self alot better..god hates me i tink..

Part 8: Age
You're hoping to be married: at 26

Part 9: In A Guy/Girl
Best eye colour: brown?
Hair colour: black wit me

Part 10: What Were You Doing?
1 minute ago: answerin tis shit n listenin to shadows fall
1 hour ago: tryin to get sum food
1 month ago: gettin start of skul pressure
1 year ago: a year ago..eatin my bday cake

Part 11: Finish The Sentences
I love: my dear LHM
I feel: loving her more n more n more n more
I miss: my dear LHM
I need: my dear LHM.....i need her so badly

Part 12: Tag 5 People
One: Hua min
Two: any1 hu is interested in doin tis tag
Three: any1 hu is interested in doin tis tag
Four: any1 hu is interested in doin tis tag
Five: any1 hu is interested in doin tis tag

List out 5 presents you wish for: a) hua min
b) hua min
c) kahwin ngan hua min
d) hua min hapi always
e) hua min love me forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

on saturday...afta interact thngs..i go to ampang point..then straight ahead to great eastern mall..

i met my fren khairul affendi workin at 1901..i talk to him then head off to get gift for sumbody..i wen bak down to talk to my fren..n suddenly i felt real dizzy..really nid to puke..i dash to d toilet n start puking..all my food for d day came out..then i wen bak to hav a drink..then i wen bak to d toilet n start puking again..

i felt really pain, n sufferin..n stranded outside, no transport,..ntg for me..

i came out like a dead man walkin in d mall..i feel weak..i feel my body is real heavy..my eyes cant fix on d road..my i feel around is turnin..n i gotta go home by myself..

d most dangerous thng is crossin d road..d heavily traffic road wit cars speedin by.
i was like how on d friggin land i gonna cross d road lidat..i was hunchin..grabbin my stomach n holdin on to my bag..i put 1st leg out..n walk slowly cross n got stuck in d middle..d car in front n d bak of me is speedin..so many cars..i feel in d middle of sumthn..my mind cant take it..n finally..i reach d opposite side..i sat down..n waited for d bus..get into d bus..n grabbin on to my stomach..n holdin on to my head as i feelin real groggy..

came down..felt like pukin but i jus stand it..got into a cab..really tahan like hell like shit im in hell now..life is hell...got home..walk slowly up..n start pukin all over..

down for my tale pukin..n all tis shit...life is hell..