I smell someone dying..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUA MIN!!

2008-06-02T01:21:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.. HAPPY SWEETEST 16 BIRTHDAY TO TAT GAL IN THE PICTURE, YES, MY LOVELY, HUA MIN!!..=D..ALREADY A BIG GAL YET STIL A SMALL GAL..HAPPY FOR ETERNITY TO U.. I LOVE U

Tags..longest 1..wtf

2008-06-01T12:36:00.000+08:00

I had nvr seen tis kind of super lengthy tags in my life..

001. What’s the connection between you & the last person that called you?:
- soon to b husband n wife..shes my love

002. Do you ever turn your cell phone off?:
- no

003. What happened at 10.00am today?:
- in my dream world of blackness

004. When did you last cry?:
- i duno, lazy to count the days

005. What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?:
- wafer

006. What do you want in your life right now?:
- many stuf but only 1 living bein n tat living is d most of all. I wan her.

007. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?:
- I use my hair.

008. What’s your favorite thing to have on your bed?:
- handphone, cd walkman, mp4, pillow, blanket, bolster..

009. What bottom are you wearing now?:
- a blue shorts.

010. Whats the nicest text in your inbox say?:
- there are some, 1 of them is "Tq darling. I love u. N i miss u alot today"
n "I'm hungry. I didnt eat cuz miss u." i feel so touched n melted

011. Do you tend to make a relationships complicated?:
- I duno. d complication comes naturally.

012. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?:
- No. I dn borrow ppls clothes to wear.

013. What was the last movie you caught?:
- Superhero movie wit my bro.

014. What are you proud of?:
- Im proud of hu i am n wat i hav now.

015. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say?:
- from Alain "Billy u sleep already? I sleepin at the apartment with my frens... Wanna come over? V need some show and a dvd player.. Lol.."

016. What was the last song you sang out loud?:
- I cant remember.

017. Do you have any nicknames? What are they?:
- Bibi n satan/the devil =,='

018. What does your last received text message say? Who was it from?:
- "Aftanun!" from Hua Min.

019. What time did you go to bed last night?:
- around 12 sumthn then woke up n slp bak at 3 sumthn. duno whichever come 1st

020. Are you currently happy?:
- erm..jus ok.

021. Who gives you best advice?:
- duno..every1 has differ advice, but it all depends on our own decision to make, every advice has its pros n cons.

022. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?:
- wth is tat?

023. Who did you talk on phone last night?:
- Hua Min

024. Is anything bugging you right now?:
- I had thngs bugging me everytime.

025. What/Who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?
- myself makin jokes n laughin at my own jokes. weird..

026. Do you wear toe socks?:
- wtf is tat bitch?!

027. Who was the last person you missed a call from?:
- Kah Fai.

028. Have you ever had your heartbroken?:
- YES

029. What annoys you most in a person?:
- their self ego, those hu tink themselves really good in sumthn, those hu likes to show off.

030. Do you have a crush on anyone?:
- use to, but i got d CRUSH long ago. shes mine

031. Have you ever done cocaine?:
- almost tried.

032. What is the colour of your room?:
- white walls of emptiness.

033. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollar?:
- of coz I wil..

034. Do you believed in the saying “talk in cheap”?:
- I duno wtf is tat, mayb i believe, talk can b very cheap.

035. Who was the last person to lay in your bed?:
- my mum?.hu gradually uses my room to nap in d aftanun.

036. Who was the last person to hug you?:
- sum guy pals of mine tat i cant recall, a frenly cool manly hug ok, not d lovebirds type.

037. Did anyone see the last person you kissed?:
- No1 i kno had ever n wil see me kiss.

038. Do you have a life?:
- No. Im dead as always.

039. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didn’t?:
- I dun tink so.

040. What is the reason behind your profile song?:
- if ur talkin bout d old profile song, i jus wan my profile to sound freakin HEAVY.

041. Who was the last person you saw in your dream?:
- Hua Min.

042. Last time you smiled?:
- smile in front of d hp last nite.

043. Have you changed this year?:
- I changed every year. in fact every1 change as time past.

044. What are you listening to right now?:
- its on random. for now d song is Still beats your name by Killswitch Engage.

045. Are you talking to someone when you doing this?:
- yes, but shes kinda busy doing her housework in her home.

046. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?:
- open most of the time.

047. Is there a quote you live by?:
- Hardcore for life!

048. Do you want someone you can’t have?:
- I hav her now, but I may b in wat d question ask years later.

049. Have you ever played an instrument?:
- Im a guitarist...

050. What was the worst idea you’ve had in week?:
- I dun tink i had any, plan everythn kinda well.

051. What were you doing last night at 11.00pm?:
- Jus got home from dinner.

052. Are you happy with your love life right now?:
- Kinda.

053. What song describe your love life?:
- I got a few, Waiting for tomorrow by Bless The Fall, My curse by Killswitch Engage..those r 1 of them.

054. Does the person know that you like him/her?:
- Of coz she does, more than jus a like, I love her.

055. Who always make you laughs?:
- Myself?

056. Do you speak other language other than English?:
- yes, d dirtiest language u can find on tis fuckin planet.

057. Are you blond?:
- nop.

058. What your middle name?:
- Boey

059. What are you doing tomorrow?:
- Goin out for her bday. I cant wait.

060. What do you think you are like?:
- Im like d most sickest, demented, terror in d heart of every human being, wel mayb except to 1 i hope.

061. Who will you choose to die with?:
- Hua Min, but i duwan her to die. Jus wanna c her for d last time b4 my soul fades to another realm.

062.Where have you been today?:
- currently at home.

063. What game do you play often?:
- Pro evolution soccer i think.

064. Who are you missing right now?:
- Hua Min

065. If you’ve to choose between friend & love, who will you choose?:
- depends.

066. What are you doing right now?:
- answering tis freakin tag.

067. Which primary school are you from?:
- dengan bangganya SEKOLAH KEBANGSAAN (1) KUALA AMPANG.

068. Name 3 colours that you like:
- Black, white, red

069. What emotion you like to show?:
- emotionless.

070. What is life to you?:
- life is jus a cycle, u live and u die, in between it test wat u are of being a human, a good 1 or a bad 1, n decisions u make tat mayb culd bring to enlightenment n b d disciple of Buddha n so on..

071. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?:
- all I culd do is lay on bed closing my eyes. if i kno wats tat trouble, im gonna fuck tat up real badly.

072. Who did you last chat in msn today?:
- no1

073. Who do you admire the most?:
- wat i am..wow, so self praise.

074. Which month are you born in?:
- February

075. How are you feeling right now?:
- im feeling feelingless..

076. What is the time now?:
- 1.36pm

077. Where are you now?:
- at home u bloody bitch!

078. What colour did you use to dye hair?:
- i dun dye my hair, i duwan it to die fast.

079. Why are you doing this test?:
- sum1 tag me, so i jus do it, jus for fun of it.

080. What do you do when you’re moody?
- crazy stuf..not really, on9 listen to music, play guitar if i can concentrate.

081. At which age you wish to get marry?:
- 18..jus kiddin. not sure yet, hopefully my late 20s

082. Who is more important to you? Boyfriend or friends?:
- FRIENDS HELP ME KILL D 1 HU WANNA B MY BOYFREN!!EEWW!!

083. Do you think you have enough confident?:
- sumtimes.

084. Who is the person you trust the most?:
- ...

085. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?:
- yes, it does happen sumtimes.

086. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?:
- its not a dream though, real serious bout it, a great metal band, wit lots of eps n records out, n more tours n gigs around d world

087. What is your goal for this year?:
- spm get at least 5As

088. Do you believe in eternity love?:
- yea i do.

089. What feeling do you love most?:
- wen both of us r really happy wen being wit each other where we wil laugh n talk almost anythn, n wen we look at each other we giv d most sincere smile we culd offer showin how much u appreciate her n feeling u had d most greatest gift u ever had in d world than any1 n wishin d time wil stop at tis moment n remain like tis for eternity.

090. Do you really think its Global Warming now?
- I duno. I dun giv a dam bout it.

091. What feeling you hate the most?:
- betrayed. given cold treatment.

092. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?:
- no..

093. Do you believe in God?:
- NO!

094. Who cares for you the most?:
- other than own family,. Hua.

095. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?:
- getting everythn i wanted i tink.

096.What’ll you bring when you fight?
- chains, sticks, metal rod, blades.

097. What have you regretted doing in your whole life?:
- hurting her feelings if i did.

098. What would you feel that no one no longer cares for you?:
- Im a man against the whole world then. I wil conquer countries n show to d fuckin world d power of me!.=,='''

099. What if your stead two-timed you?:
- so long, goodbye, get d fuck away from me, stay out of my sight,my hearing, n my life.

100. What do you want now?:
- get bak to 'work'

tag any1 hu wans to do tis.

better or not d better of all..

2008-05-30T21:08:00.000+08:00

Jus came out of d toilet wit whole bunch of my shit flushed away..sad..

but gav me inspiration to blog sumthn afta shittin, anyway, not inspiration from my shit though. Jus tat i jus came bak from d 1 day in college thng from Taylor.
I doesn turn out tat bad afterall. We had sum really good fun there. Sadly, i forgot bout d function of my handphone n theres no pic for now. wat a waste..

I only had 3hours of slp d last nite, n I reached Taylor business school at 7.45am. jus 10 minutes ++ afta tuck yik called me. wel, i met tuck yik, han yao, jian kai, n emest 1st..those early birdie dudes. later,Isabel came, then Rachel, then Shaun..I jus go around wit them 1st til danang, armeen n irfan came. d college is honestly not wat i expected so far, i tot it wil look like Nottingham University in a big city. wel, hu cares. its stil nice inside though.

I hung out wit danang, irfan, n armeen. wat im actually lookin forward in tis most is d food, for breakfast, lunch n tea break..wth.. n it seems like we 4 r d most kiddie ppl there, laughin at almost anythn, talkin d shittiest thng, n playin d lift buttons?.yea, tats included..anyway, its stil cool. we had our breakfast, n in d middle of havin our breakfast, a chatty senior drop by. she was like so hyper talkin everythn n all bout games n all..n i was like 0.0..like tat, yea..wel, shes really funny though, had sum kind of brains like us..or mayb me or wateva..she got freaked out of me finally afta i said I LIKE SEJARAH N MORAL. tats wat im talkin bout..hell yeah!

We then proceed to d nex building tat says MIDDLESEX UNIVERSITY.wtf!..middle sex..okayyyy..wateva. We got to d library in tat building n we made fun of d gal sittin in d room wit glass surroundin her, duno how to say, but looks like a display or sumthn, we shud hav take pic to show like shes a display in a cage, wel we r not tat mean though *yea rite* ...

We wen bak to d original buildin n proceed to d lift again n tis time we used d stairs due to d over population of humans using it, we did enjoy d stairs though. running up n down, burn lots of fats, n to all those hu havent seen me b4, im freakin FAT!! We did d 1st activity tat is d auction, our 1st auction though. its hell funny n fun n tense. lazy elaborate more of it, then we proceed on to d ICT lab n did sum boring stuf there wit d quiz n all. thx to them, i startin to get addicted to tis sentence wit d freakin accent "WHO ARE YOU!!!" "HOW I KNOOOO" "MAYB HE BLUFF YOUUUUUU"..weird of me typing it in there though.. N then its our LUNCH TIME!! YES!! lunch time!! d food is superb, d curry chicken especially.. I took 2 rounds only i almost burst.

oh quick to d finale, we wrote bout d best part of tis thng..most of us wrote LUNCH TIME!! wel, i jus add economics in there, at least sumthn to do wit economical food.

oh wel, wth i cant finish writin everythn..i i gotta go now..another meal of d day..DINNER!! off to huntin now

wat is god... part 3

2008-05-18T02:50:00.000+08:00

wat or hu is he/she?

wat is god.. part 2

2008-05-18T02:27:00.001+08:00

Etymology of the Word "God"
Discusses the root-meaning of the name "God", which is derived from Gothic and Sanskrit roots.

Existence of God
Formal dogmatic Atheism is self-refuting, and has never won the reasoned assent of any considerable number of men. Nor can Polytheism ever satisfy the mind of a philosopher. But there are several varieties of what may be described as virtual Atheism which cannot be dismissed so quickly.

Nature and Attributes of God
In this article, we proceed by deductive analysis to examine the nature and attributes of God to the extent required by our limited philosophical scope. We will treat accordingly of the infinity, unity, and simplicity of God, adding some remarks on Divine personality.

Relation of God to the Universe
The world is essentially dependent on God, and this dependence implies (1) that God is the Creator of the world -- the producer of its whole substance; and (2) that its continuance in being at every moment is due to His sustaining power.

The Blessed Trinity
The Trinity is the term employed to signify the central doctrine of the Christian religion -- the truth that in the unity of the Godhead there are Three truly distinct Persons: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

wat is god.. part 1

2008-05-18T01:52:00.000+08:00

God is the principal or sole deity in religions and other belief systems that worship one deity.[1]

God is most often conceived of as the creator and overseer of the universe. Theologians have ascribed a variety of attributes to the many different conceptions of God. The most common among these include omniscience, omnipotence, omnipresence, omnibenevolence (perfect goodness), divine simplicity, jealousy, and eternal and necessary existence. God has also been conceived as being incorporeal, a personal being, the source of all moral obligation, and the "greatest conceivable existent".[1] These attributes were all supported to varying degrees by the early Jewish, Christian and Muslim theologian philosophers, including Augustine of Hippo,[2] Al-Ghazali,[3] and Maimonides.[2] Many notable medieval philosophers developed arguments for the existence of God,[4] attempting to wrestle with the apparent contradictions implied by many of these attributes.

As of 2000, approximately 53% of the world's population identifies with one of the three Abrahamic religions (33% Christian, 20% Islam, <1% Judaism), 6% with Buddhism, 13% with Hinduism, 6% with traditional Chinese religion, 7% with various other religions, and less than 15% as non-religious. Most of these religious beliefs involve a god or gods.[29]

d car..

2008-05-17T03:56:00.000+08:00

Aishah came visit d skul n brought all of us for a ride in d car wit d metal music on as loud as we can take it..yea, headbangin n screaming..d music was good..wateva isit, my head hurts afta tat..cooool..

I duno wat im tinkin..im finding faults startin off thru blogs slowly n slowly, IM TRYIN TO MAKE MORE PPL TO HATE ME N THOSE PPL HU HATED ME HATE ME MORE N THOSE HU DISLIKE ME TURNS TO HATRED TOWARDS ME..to get thngs to b done easier..

Tis is d SHIT!

2008-05-17T00:09:00.000+08:00

MAT REMPIT POEM:

Mat Rempit is damn guai lan,
he modifies a small kenderaan,
drive his awek to see cendawan,
and she will ask,”What do you want??”

“Your buah dada is so menggodakan.”
“And I don’t want to be your kawan.”
“I want to be your special one.”
“And fuck you everyday like no kawalan.”

The awek has got no pilihan,
she has to take off all her pakaian,
and start the adult mia permainan,
that is how she lost her kesucian.

First time she feels a little kesakitan,
and screams out loud for pertolongan,
later she asks for mau tambahan,
hopes that Mat Rempit will teruskan.

Mat Rempit says got perubahan,
he goes and gets a peralatan,
and calls all his kawan-kawan,
says this will be a lot more fun.

silent grudges..

2008-05-06T22:36:00.000+08:00

any1 heard of a really silent grudge u had on sum1?..any1 heard tat d grudge is on sum1 tat meant d most to u in ur life..tats d most awkward grudges any1 holds..coz i kno 1 or mayb 2..pitiful how a gal n boy can get along so wel even if 1 of them hav d friggin big gurdges on sum of their frens..yes, i kno tat as wel, very very well..only way to release d grudge is to c him havin d worst of his life sufferin worse than hell while livin..stick to d conscious, dun do anythn stupid now..

skul sux like shit, as usual..days past wit alot of mix feelings..yes, exams near..really near..un prepared..too lazy to study or shud i say i duwanna study. study suck dicks n eat shits. yes, i found out alot of thngs bout sum ppl tat use to b good frens, yes they r assholes of d milennium as i can c..i duno hu to trust anymore.except mayb a lesser few. frens tis days, fucktards of all, even sum1 tat is not jus a fren too culd i hav a doubt on their truth. tis is wat we call humans of d new milennium. screw tat shit. tis post aint suppose to b emotional but i had no choice coz im feelin disgusted by alot of humans tat i tot i knew very well..thk u all bastards n bitches

tis is sumthn to feel...

2008-04-28T22:35:00.000+08:00

See them die!
They Die!

A rain of blood should cover our world
Stench and decay should be the only thing we sense
But hidden in the dark and erased from our heads
Barbarity and slaughter are everywhere
A contemptible ethic, a relict

For the weakest of the weak
For the lowest of the low
My voice for the voiceless
My fists for the innocent

On the edge of a new age this is still our dogma
No grave for millions - tortured creatures,
But a common grave for our morals
This slaughter - an ethic I deny
An archaic way of thinking, so monstrous and absurd

by: Heaven shall burn
title: voice of the voiceless

TAT IS GOOD. TAT REALLY DOES REFLECT ALMOST WAT IM FEELING!! SCREW D GOOD! D HYPOCRITICAL!

sum old pic

2008-04-28T21:34:00.000+08:00

err...

Buddha? masters of d karmic world i guess

Barry Boey

wat is billy lookin at?. forgot wat is he doin actually.lookin at sum animal shit?

Boeys

found sum old pic. decided to hav a try to hav a 1st post wit pics.

confused..

2008-04-27T03:45:00.000+08:00

at tis hour in d dawn. at d peak of twilight. im here alone, thinkin alot of thngs. d moment where i wil tink alot especially now, how thngs were goin on. sum thngs r jus always not perfect. but stil tryin d best to do anythn. i had enuf of emotional breakdown, i kno i had been missin tat person now tat she is asleep. i woke up in dazed counting time, as time past really fast so as near to my departure sooner or later. its not like i wanted to, if im capable i wil do anythn to stay for another year. jus 1 more year then i wil wait for many years later to come. i wil b waiting n waiting. waiting, d sun to rise again for me, to shine down on me again wit d warmth smile at me, tat shows eternally we shall b n nvr b apart again......

random..

2008-04-22T18:34:00.000+08:00

Barry randy orton vs mugilan john cenaTis guy does a good Triple H act

is this rite..

2008-04-13T01:57:00.000+08:00

its been weeks. many thngs had change, even expression of myself, i reflect myself in d mirror, wat i am. im jus mere confused as to wats happenin all around. wat m i doin? isit a rite thng to do? i had tried to avoid many times, avoidin.. but i stil jus cant keep my sight away, my ears away, it no point to do it, i jus seeing myself goin darker, deeper into d grieve-ness i felt yet hiding it so much behind my mask tat shows an expression either im happy or nothingness. i kno very wel bout d me is tat once my mind stray to d moment of hatred n anger, i felt it returnin to me, it made me into another person where im not suppose to b, i wan to forget it, but it has happen not only once but more than twice or mayb more. ppl say jus let go, its worthless but its not anythn or any1 worthless to me no matter how bad isit. d silent treatment i tried, d cold shoulder i did, jus not even a heart to do it, its against wat i wanted most, only add more litre of tears in d bucket. i duno how to say it, dun kno how to put tis all in proper words for it to b understand clearly. my anger gotten worse over days passing by. d more i feel of hurtin ppl, or mayb even myself. but wen thngs jus getting sweet n im like being bitter, i feel like sumthn or sum1 has taken d troubled in me but it jus din last unless it continues tis way for a longer moment where i wished it wil. i duno wat faces to giv nex, its always so indecipherable due to mix feelin of anger, sadness n happiness. d remorse often kicks in, n i wil b losing control of emotions n being sum1 or sumthn tat im not suppose to b at all til it hurts..

words from a tale told by an unspoken

cant make it..

2008-04-10T21:56:00.000+08:00

sorry to my daughter ho mei ji tat i cant make it to ur bday party tis sat..i knew its gonna b fun..but too bad i sumhow not in a good condition worse than b4..i duno wat d hell im talkin here..i kno being wit u ppl includin dinie n d rest, u, nessa, n hu else, dwayne, n mayb got more wil b fun..wish u had a great bday splashin day..happy bday to u too..no gift coz ur daddy is broke..i had spend full day in my last fucked up saturday, i rather not go anywhere on tat saturday if i kno its gonna b a pile of shit there *well its not tat bad, jus exaggeratin* to get tis sat to go up bukit antarabangsa again..it does relieve me from d prob kept deep in me..theres too much n complicated to b stated out here. n best of all can spend a nite on d party, tats cool too. i duwanna stay home all d while. i wan b outside, go crazy n all those. mayb get drunk up in a swimmin pool. being around there is so much more of releasing wat i really am though, especially big tons of laughter popping out. i felt sick n fed up of wats up around me tis days. readin sumthn or seeing sumthn tat culd jus brings out d most dangerous anger in me, seeing so much shit n feelin it. hahahaha..all rite, not gonna express so much in detail for now. i duwan to feel tat always wen sayin d fact of my darker side of my inner self. thngs tat i tink nobody ever knew. hey, have fun there. sorry disappoint u tat i cant make it. find sum1 dress as me to go to ur party. c ya..

down, dead, shattered, n broken dad of urs

feelings

2008-04-05T23:19:00.000+08:00

A guy of 2 faces wit tons of feelings n emotions..torn between multiple decisions to decide his nex step..afta d fiery flames in his heat lighted up so bright, showin full emotions of anger n sadness on a day where he expected d best of his day..turn out to b 1 of d worse..another day another depression..he jus culdn tink more anymore..he jus wans sumthn..a changed tat culd b..for d worse or d better?..

last saturday..

2008-04-05T01:19:00.000+08:00

days wen by well..eventho d heartache of not gettin to go out wit her is stil there on tat day for sure..i gotta accept tat we both cant go out together tat very day..wel..she wen on her own n i wen on mine *a last minute decision*..but stil misses her alot. ..since dwayne invited me to his house at d same time to celebrate his sis vanessa bday..d 1st thng to go there, im offered to cross dress..i jus dun get it how can gals go out of their house wit all their tighs n shoulder n bak n half chest exposed..feel so skinful..ok..tats enuf of it..at least theres a big big humour in it..dwayne was like so attracted to me n im like so oh yea im hot..wel not exaclty wit my abit hairy legs...looks really wrong..but i look dam like a gal..wats up wit me n gal look..i can b both..glad to b born a universal being though..i was like 1 of d earliest kid there..waitin for d other guys to arrive..to hav more crazy shit goin on..it took awhile for all of them to arrive..afta our meal of chickens n spaghettis..we had sum water balloon games but im not really so into, jus dun feel like gettin wet..vj n i jus lepak around n talk..he is d only 1 not wet..afta every1 is wet..d whole troops of water balloons ppl came attackin me..start wit my own daughter, she wet me all in 1 throw of a balloon afta being held by dinie..finally a fallen soldier i am..got half naked on d street n dinie start chasin me for no apparent reason carryin a slipper n i duno y d hell m i runnin half naked so far out n passers by were lookin n i duwanna kno wat r they tinkin..we all chnged bak..loads of guys in d house..so odours jus fly here n there includin mine..tat day was actually quite chilly..moreover, d house is filled wit air conds everywhere..afta d bday cake cuttin ceremony, i decided to stay over since many of them r stayin over as well..d whole nite was a chatter nite..laughter aroused everywhere on d second level..sum r playin video games..we slept quite late in d dawn..i can stil remember wen all of us keep forcin mei ji to stay awake..tats really funny..no1 allow her to slp wen she wans to slp real badly..instead wen every1 is out, i myself cant take it but to slp 1st alone, til mei ji burst inside sayin 'Y he can slp!? y i cant slp!?'..n im like 'no i did not slp! im jus restin, closin my eyes but not slpin'..but ppl dun really bother me..now tats a good thng..i almost fell aslp wen i heard vanessa *dwayne sis* askin us bout supper n of coz i jump out of bed to eat 1st at 3am..chicken n nasi lemak..n spaghetti at tat hour..i feel like in a place far away from time n day n date..jus wit a room for foods..gotta admit tat i ate alot tat day..afta tat, i sat on d sofa n fell aslp n dwayne put tomato into my open up mouth n took a pic of it..tat pic is sumhow..err..weird..i look like a corpse..afta all, we guys all end up slpin in d livin hall n me on d big sofa..stil feels good n cold..i had a good day wit those old ex skul frens of mine, loads of stomach achin laughters, if im stil in smk hulu kelang, wonder how wil i b now?.. btw, on tat day is also a stormy n rainy day.. where it all begins..my new beginning bak in 07..d very day tat meant so much..

in dying days..

2008-03-23T02:40:00.000+08:00

he has felt too much more of it..he is reachin to his dying days. he dun seem to b respected. he dun seemed to b cared. his feelings always feelin it. always seeing thngs he dun like. but sumhow afta how much he said or reacted, theres jus no feedback from tat. he jus felt tat d 1 din really understand him. how sad or hurt he felt. it always happens. y is he so shitty screwd tat way. wat he felt always is there. he felt wat she does, to c wat she does is true of wat he felt. too much of sorrow dwelled in him, n she doesn giv a sign of a star to him where he nids her most. he culdnt shut his eyes as he wil c hurtin signs runnin thru his mind. he cant stay in dark empty room alone as he wil cries to his death. he culdnt c d blade as d temptation of bleedin himself is there. at nite all alone gazing at d darkness out of his window. a future there for him? theres no life for him anymore. a lost hope is more to come. he felt his trust being betrayed. sum1 being hypocritical claimin of d one being good. emotional games playin in his mind. flashbak of the worse memories he had. it hurt him so bad. it hurts alot more than any1 culd tink. tons of thoughts. is he more than valuable? pls death, end his life right away..as he wil c nor feel no sufferin anymore in tis world of betray n deceit. his heart achin so badly now...... stab a sword of fire in his heart, burnin wit fiery flames of anger..darkness overwhelmed..no more gods...

*tales of vengeance, deep grudge of valour

clueless

2008-03-12T02:41:00.000+08:00

a cancer in his head,
spreadin from his mind to his heart,
heart to his soul,
destroyin every single thng bout him,
d best moment,
d best memory,
d best of all,
wat isit is tat to b left to kept,
he is lost in his own world,
no light to shine him through d dark,
no path for him to walk through d woods,

he is lost, very lost...days go by turnin into sum kind of a human each day, he is fucked..very fucked..inner him, inner feelings of his negative side sprawlin over him..clueless of wat gonna happen nex..d stubborness of him, d hot head of him..being mad at almost anythn around him..he needs to calm..he needs to get bak to himself hu he use to b..not d monster of wat is it now..but 1 thng he feels, he enjoys bein a monster sumtimes, a guilty pleasure feeling..no sense of moral in him anymore at d end of d day..a thrash of society, to b un-respected..yes, its an UN..b4 its too late, wat can save him from d judgement day of his own??..as d positived hav already abandoned him..

fuckin off..

shitty day of tuesday on tis darn date

2008-03-11T22:57:00.001+08:00

im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not well im not wellL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jus a short post...

2008-03-11T04:47:00.000+08:00

its like almost 5am now!!! n stil in front of d pc...talkin to tis guy name ji mi tat is my ex schoolmae of my ex school n surprisnly wonderin y he is up so freakin late jus to realise he jus over his high skul years n can do wateva he wans at tis hour..he must watchin youporn..i tink..hahaha..he is givin definition of my pic..n to a conclusion my msn pic is a thornography pic over wat d pic looks like..a rapist from d rose bush fill wit fuckin thorns pokin trhu his head, make him bleed n bite a gal on d neck..n her boobs is exposed slightly, but covered by shadows..its jus a cradle of filth theme pic..wth!..
its all bout d days today, goin out meet up wit old frens..i wack shazzz hard up so called boobs *muscle chest*, n its so fuckin tough..it really tire me out as we walk like duno how many freakin hours n get lost in d darn pavillion fill kaya raya org sana..ish, i feel like wanna rob sumthn..oh.in TS i met suzuki n d gang, n in pavi, i met fariz my classmate, n nazri n nick *form4*..yea..wat a coincedence..others duno go where..i did met too dinie, i din kno dinie start hangin out wit shazz n denise n kasturi as well..hahah..from there all split up, me wit my neighbour/fren harith wen bak to sungei wang n bak to TS, LRT, from ampang station walk home climb thru d fence for d 1st time, make me feel like a cool superspy..i kno tats fuckin lame..i shud do it more often nex time..jump over d fence into d apartment!!..ok..tired..tats all for it..
thngs r abit differ tis days..i feel like a changed person again..another changed self of mine..i like being colder, n darker, n duno wat else..no more mr nice billy boy..he is dead..so long..c ya in my grave!!..

scar symmetry n sanctity rulz my ears

god knos...

2008-03-10T02:03:00.000+08:00

its monday, 1st weekday of d holidays..its blood splattered time!!time for ppl to die!!..

oh gosh., jus lookin at my blog to c..cool..post seems of a guy goin dead, anger, depression,sadness,intriguin me to write more...tis is demented...i like d feeling of it..its nice..releasing the inner self, d darker self..fuckin in tis place wit words of doom n disaster..no peace, no land to live..dying life, fading souls..a new world orderrr..death death death death death death..

the bleeding

2008-03-09T22:04:00.000+08:00

god knos hu is bleeding now, he doesn kno he is bleeding wit dark red blood inside accumulatin in his heart of pain..heart fill wit needles goin thru each time..

its been a day of not so good day sittin at d table his ass hurts..puttin numbers into his head..it doesn seem tat easy afterall even afta d dropage of d worst fuckin subject..mentally not well..wateva d fuck is it..dun giv a dam..proceedin on wit his life in a differ way..doin wat he likes alot..five finger death punch a new band he discovered..d music suits d inner emotion of him..self portrait of anger n depressed n sadness..life is on d road once again..

i missed d bleeding through concert,how fuckin shiity is tat..i hav been longing to go to theirs..i wan to watch 1 of my fav bands playin..stil i culdn make it..thx alot!..screw it..

holidays gonna b a long 1 n a shitty 1..hopefully it wunt b tat way..im easily annoyed, angry n all..nvm..tats cool wit me..i dun giv a shit..hu gonna tink d other way bout me..for those hu fuckin hates me..mark ur fuckin mouth n words..even ur fuckin heart of pure shits..it hav been a long time keepin my fist n fury..it feels good to hav tat in those faces i wan it to hav on to!!..do not annoy me..

bout sum more of shits..

2008-03-02T22:48:00.000+08:00

When souls depart is reall darn inactive tis days..thx to busy-ness n d controled by sum elder ppl..fuck tat..anyhow, a new vocal is in..soon to hav another guitar in it..bleeding through live in KL on 9th march..wanna go there real badly..1 of my fav band..fuckin deathcore shit!..darn brutal wit melo..wish thngs turn out good for me to go to d gig..im gettin sick stayin at home always n being away from d crowds..
How nice..a fren of mine turn christian..i duno y, it feels like im opposite towards it n havin feelings of thngs arent the way b4..he turn softer though..im gonna so im so not into religion, i may b a free thinker but im more to against it..y?..i dislike d holy?..i prefer bein a free man hu can do anythn he wan in tis world than followin rules..guess its more to tat..can jus fuck around anytime without botherin hu eva tryin to stop me to..its better being tis way than being in a religion to worship sumthn we r not sure of its existence..it culd kill us 1 day..
im havin sum kinda mix feelings nowadays..its hard to explain but it aint tat good most of d time..i can jus screw sum fuckas up anytime..not in a good state..chill now man..signin off..

pissing d demon..

2008-03-01T17:34:00.000+08:00

ok..its not been a good start n all tis fuckin time in tis fuckin year..almost weeks of battered n splatterd of my fuckin self..tats jus so cool...im a pissed up person..seriously,im a dam pisser coz im dam fuckin pissed now..i c hatred in my eyes towards others tat hav hatred to me..i can jus come now fuckin fuck them rite in their face!..i heard thngs bout me wen i pass by sum of them..if u ppl tink ur dam big, hit me fuckas, then let me jus giv u a reply to tat hit more sweeter than wat u gav..im an extremely angry guy tis days, im hyper sensitive than usual, im blurrer than usual, i tend to forget simple stuf more than usual, i bump into thngs always, losing myself, its like sumthn im really not satisfies about is unanswered..i love playin music alot more than studies, i wan play n make music more than being a fuckin man in suits goin to work,i wan freedom more than doin tat..i dun giv a fuck bout how much i earn.. im a big a sinner, a deadly sinner..no god in me..he is gonna hate me soon or mayb he does now..i wan do wat i wan, i do wat i feel like to..i wan freedom!!i hated being controled at home..i vowed to move out anytime to live on my own wen i can..im gettin sick of livin wit parents even 1 of them is being so tak munasabah controllin d fuck out of me!..dam, tis sounds darn angry..
ANYHOW, I WULD LIKE TO THK TO SUM PPL HU APPRECIATE TIS BLOG N KEEP UP TO DATE WIT IT..ITS A SURPRISE I FOUND OUT SUM1 HU DO LIKES MY BLOG..THKS..GRATITUDE FROM D DEMON WITHIN..

part of a story of a story

2008-02-26T23:39:00.000+08:00

..he jus dun get it..y is she always on others side instead of on his side..its like alot of thngs he do is not really d good thng, n like others is better than him..y she is always on her frens side eventho sum thngs its obviously its their fault n d guy is innocent n stil is like d wrong is more on d side of d guy..tots of paranoia intrigue his mind..he wans to kno d importance of himself to her..how much isit..d most n most of all..sum thngs, is like d others jus dun understand much d feelings of their partners..its really waste wen a gal or guy jus throw d 1 so eva d best n good to d wasteland,wastin their life, wastin them..n wats in d hatred list d most is involvement of a 3rd party, of words of others, jus by d lil words..thngs go in d wrong way..not all of them r good, not all of them care, ppl shud kno..there sure is a reason on y they do tis..y they say tis..hati manusia tidak boleh diselam eventho kenal lama, so am i..ppl hu deserve it only get wat is good n wat is bad..tink him/her b4 listenin to others..he/her kno d best eventho they may not b known as long as others..he/her cares d most..partner knos he/her d best..do trust him/her most.

back to d days

2008-02-23T03:20:00.000+08:00

im welcoming myself bak to d days..a more improving bak to d days..a more colder self..a more cooler self..oh wateva..good thngs do come bak unconcsciously coz its not really wat i hope for..wat i hope good stuf to happen is..wel, it can b figured out easily..i got Evon today..she is a red beauty to me eventho its not d best yet..d sound of it is superb compare to Irony..collect it from guitar collection today 22 feb...n yes, all d waitin for her..finally i got my hands on..my finger dance happily on her body..making d most evil sound i can freaking get..new wave of billy's heavy metal..new attitude, new style..yea!!!..keganasan rulz!!!..tis days not talkin much..expressionless once again,.its already a second nature to me..i cant talk anymore..wel, mayb not..tats kinda depends on me..i kinda feel neglected, or not to b cared..

yes..

2008-02-20T00:03:00.000+08:00

Im evil.... hit me...evil lies within.

...

2008-02-20T00:02:00.000+08:00

no fuckin emo gay songs, no hapi hapi soundin songs..its all bout anger n aggression!!!..

sign,
d boy hu cried wolf..mr screwd head..

tis boy here aint fine

2008-02-19T23:34:00.000+08:00

yes to SUM fuckaroo readers..tis boy here aint hapi,he is fuckin pissed til his pissing in his dogs mouth..tats sick to d stomach man..pissed in ur ass dude..or wateva u r..u r jus a pissed of shit..tis boy here is betrayed, he felt lost n all..wat he has fuckin done?..oh yes, he did alot of fuckin bad stuf, so fuckin wat, fuck off if u ppl aint hapi..a boy hu only deserve d cold, he was borned tis way, wateva d way he freakin is, is not goin to changed in him..he is hu he is, sum fuckaroo out there aint hapi..i love it wen they r not hapi of him..d more hatred he gets, d more powerful he becomes a loner..yes, he is always alone in his own dark world..n he wans to kno..sumthn he learn from sum1, oh god, how d fuck u defined a fuckin muthafucka??.black chinese, white chinese..oh hell, wateva..there r jus too many muthafucka tis days..being in tis world of jus pissin n shittin in ur parents pants..wipe it off their faces..y d hell is parents involve in here..wateva!!>.he is jus too pissed to release of anythn..jus tel him d truth or he wans to kno d truth eh..full of curiosity n doubt in him..d boy hus been feelin so so so so so so pain n pitiful in his life, thngs he had done din even pay off but he dun mind, i felt so bad n pitiful for him..cryin in his dark corners..cryin blood of tears..for sum muthafuckas..y u doin tis man..
go to hell bastard n bitches..screw in hell bastards n bitches..

P.S: d guy aint wat he really is in real life, jus tat its been written tat way bout him..a pitiful shit.

tat jus feels gooood

my original family side

2008-02-10T04:04:00.000+08:00

I can say im not tat attach to family members..tis year reunion..im alot more soft spoken n quieter..im no more d hapi care to care around n talk happily always smilin here n there..not anymore now..at d boey side..not much cous..only d eldest n d rest around my age r gals..in cny, we talk alot..bout skuls, stuf, jokes n all..last time we use to play kejar outside d compound..now every1 has grown..bein in relationships n all..conflicts..depression..hard times.... me n my cous talk mostly bout her n my relationshipt..tats d thng tat keep us talkin n talkin or mayb sumtimes bout movies n all..n d thngs she can make..wel..we r tat use to keep sayin n being so proud being a boey..as its so uncommon around..shes a boey in her own way...n im a boey in my own way..im jus really detached from my families, even wit d boeys..i jus dun hav d spirit anymore..d family spirit is not much in me..sooner or later..im gonna feel like a stranger..i jus wanna live on my own wit only sum1 to b wit..livin independantly n all..but tats only wen time to come..n allowance by parents..i felt not anymore my old self of how i am being so so hapi to always stick around wit family members..i prefer bein more self centered..by tis can tel how much i changed from last time til now, even from last year can make alot of difference in me..wat wil i b nex year?..a guy livin in his own cell?..lyin dead anywhere?..thngs r jus so complicated..

flashbacks..

2008-02-10T03:39:00.000+08:00

Birthday:

I didn do much on my bday..its jus a plain there of being alone wit sum1 teman-nin me in sms..thx to all hu wishes me..n special thx to her for wishin tons of times before,on,n afta my bday..simply pick a move to watch n i watch gabriel in mbo galaxy ampang..its shit movie..nex i choose meet the spartans..d jokes r freakin lame..its like no more jokes n simply put any kind of jokes dun care lame anot..my bro is sick..he cant watch wit me..its sad to c him sufferin lidat..wish to b in his place..i got my hair cut..n its kinda screwed..wel, so wat..i jus dun really giv a dam bout my hair..jus wan it to b long..she wen down to malacca today..my turn is 2mrw..

malacca:

d '2mrw' is postponed to d 1st day of cny as my bro is dam sick to move..d nex day we wen down to malacca n finally im gettin nearer to her but i cant c her..check into sum kind of budget hotel n it suck totally..afta meetin up at my uncle house..d day is over..now is bout d nex day..we wen bak to my uncle house n talk n eat n talk n eat..n then we all wen to Jonker street..sum kind of place..famous street..alot of cheap unique thngs to get..i got sum stuf..afta tat saw an asshole performin, in stead of performin..he jus talkin shit n promotin his god dam products..later wen to my dad best fren house..sum shit happen there..as in..a malay family came to visit n surprisingly d malay family gav us red pocket containin rm10..she gav to my bro n miss me out..then she realise she missed me n gav me d red pocket..nex is another visitor..an aunt hu almost menopause or mayb menopaused..she gav my bro d red pocket n forgot bout me..1st time, my family were laughin at me..claimin i look too old for 1..i kno i look old..i laugh at my bro for stil considered a lil kid..laugh out loud at himit doesn matter..i dun mind at all..d best part is drinkin..i jus love alcohol..i drank lots of it..beer n wine all together til i got drunk..n im feelin d best for myself tat nite..im being more open n more daring to speak rather than being fuckin quiet n all..i got really drunk..dam drunk..i worry i might do sumthn crazy there..my dad tel uncle tan to giv me only a glass of wine but uncle tan sneakingly behind my dad gav me more than twice..its really good..i jus like being drunk..i enter d car n start laughin..n talkin shit..
aunt: u ok anot?
mum; yea la, u like drunk now..
me: im fine la, only dad duno how he drive, like drunk man, drive until i also dun feel well.
dad: huh?..*driving so steadily*..im drivin so steady..ur drunk dy.
me: me?..hahah..no drunk..hahahah!!..barry come i wrestling u *grab my bro*
barry: *seems freaked out being beside a drunk guy*..get lost!!.
aunt: eh billy, dun play..
me: hahahahaha..dam nice..i wan more..nex year uncle tan say wan giv stronger like vodka n tequila..i wan more..
dad: dun make it a habit..i at ur age also no drink like u.
me: hahaha!!im way better than u..im 17 n i drink more!..hahahaha!!..
dad: i tink tis runs in d family..we r family of drinkers..all like to drink..
barry: .......
mum: .....
aunt: ooh........
Boeys r insane......
i drop to my knee afta i came out of d car..walk groggily to d door steps..enter room straight away lie on bed..aunt came in n i ask for more wine..i heard d word wine outside d common room n wen out to ask if theres any..all shoooo me bak to d room..i wan more..but wat i wan actually..is HER....
d nex day...i feel real fine n start eatin alot of mee goreng..came home rice..came home kl fried rice..alot of thngs..they call me d chilli king afta i being d only person eatin d rice n mix alld sambal in d rice until its really red..its jus tasty..every1 like nvr seen tat kind of way of eatin b4...b4 left for KL..i did my first prayers since d last trip i came to malacca last year forgot wen..do bless me..... I miss her.. I love her..

sum kind of tag......

2008-02-06T12:20:00.000+08:00

Part 1:On the outside
Name: jus call me 'THE DEVIL'
Date of Birth: February the 5th?
Current Status: Not single..goin to married
Eye Colour: brown..i guess
Hair Colour: Pure black..black wil always b black..my personality colour too
Righty or Lefty: Total frggin Lefty
Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

Part 2: On the Inside
Your Heritage: Chinese, pure cantonese
Your Fear: Losing her..
Your Weakness: she being not hapi

Part 3: Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow
Your thoughts first waking up: I wan her..How is she?.wat she doin?..is she awake?..I love her
Your bedtime: my bedtime so inconsistent
Your most missed memory: all d sweet memories wit LHM

Part 4: Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
McD's or Burger King: Burger king 1st, 2nd McD
Single or Group Dates: of coz single..I hate disturbance
Adidas or Nike: Nike.
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Lipton tea i tink..coz its pure english tea?
Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate d best eva
Cappuccino or Coffee: coffeeeeee

Part 5: Do You . . .
Smoke: Use to
Curse: my 2nd nature..u can c tat on me most of d time
Drink: YES!!

Part 6: In the Past Month
Drank alcohol: yea, mayb i did
To the mall:yes
Been on stage: no, eventho suppose to tat time but thngs din worked out well
Eaten sushi: Yesss i tink
Dyed your hair: nvr b4

Part 7: Have You Ever?
Played a stripping game: Yes.
Changed who you were to fit in: No..i nvr did..but i did try to b a more holier person once, but it din work out wel for me..it makes me feel worse..i prefer my devil self alot better..god hates me i tink..

Part 8: Age
You're hoping to be married: at 26

Part 9: In A Guy/Girl
Best eye colour: brown?
Hair colour: black wit me

Part 10: What Were You Doing?
1 minute ago: answerin tis shit n listenin to shadows fall
1 hour ago: tryin to get sum food
1 month ago: gettin start of skul pressure
1 year ago: a year ago..eatin my bday cake

Part 11: Finish The Sentences
I love: my dear LHM
I feel: loving her more n more n more n more
I miss: my dear LHM
I need: my dear LHM.....i need her so badly

Part 12: Tag 5 People
One: Hua min
Two: any1 hu is interested in doin tis tag
Three: any1 hu is interested in doin tis tag
Four: any1 hu is interested in doin tis tag
Five: any1 hu is interested in doin tis tag

List out 5 presents you wish for: a) hua min
b) hua min
c) kahwin ngan hua min
d) hua min hapi always
e) hua min love me forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

days of sufferin

2008-02-04T18:48:00.000+08:00

on saturday...afta interact thngs..i go to ampang point..then straight ahead to great eastern mall..

i met my fren khairul affendi workin at 1901..i talk to him then head off to get gift for sumbody..i wen bak down to talk to my fren..n suddenly i felt real dizzy..really nid to puke..i dash to d toilet n start puking..all my food for d day came out..then i wen bak to hav a drink..then i wen bak to d toilet n start puking again..

i felt really pain, n sufferin..n stranded outside, no transport,..ntg for me..

i came out like a dead man walkin in d mall..i feel weak..i feel my body is real heavy..my eyes cant fix on d road..my i feel around is turnin..n i gotta go home by myself..

d most dangerous thng is crossin d road..d heavily traffic road wit cars speedin by.
i was like how on d friggin land i gonna cross d road lidat..i was hunchin..grabbin my stomach n holdin on to my bag..i put 1st leg out..n walk slowly cross n got stuck in d middle..d car in front n d bak of me is speedin..so many cars..i feel in d middle of sumthn..my mind cant take it..n finally..i reach d opposite side..i sat down..n waited for d bus..get into d bus..n grabbin on to my stomach..n holdin on to my head as i feelin real groggy..

came down..felt like pukin but i jus stand it..got into a cab..really tahan like hell like shit im in hell now..life is hell...got home..walk slowly up..n start pukin all over..

down for my tale pukin..n all tis shit...life is hell..

Hatred

2008-01-31T11:24:00.000+08:00

..D blade is his answer...

a day..

2008-01-27T23:24:00.001+08:00

a day comes n go,
nite rise n falls,
i sittin by window,
hearin d chimes of nite birds,
staring at d blank wall,
tinkin n tinkin....
i shall not fall here,
i must raise hell,
i must giv hell,
i must rise,
we wil rise,
into d world of cruelty,
evil scent pollutin d air of purity,
wat has it become,
as i stay awake now,
askin pointlessly to d lord,
pls guide me, y u doin tis to me,'
he doesn listen,
im given pain,
im feeling wat hell is like internally,
but a love for me by sum1,
has ease me,
keep d devil in me locked as far as we go,
once n for all,
we wil rise....

dwayne is gone

2008-01-27T23:16:00.000+08:00

fuck u dwayne..y u must go penang study?..fucka sial..we're gonna miss u man..asshole..how m i gonna make fun of u n continue those sperman li n those sperm sperm tfk stuf..btw, if u nid knowledge to get sum gals laid there..u can call me anytime..i teach u how..buy durex condom..its good brand..hahaha.last wednesday, a public holz..wen to dwayne farewell party..its great hangin out bak wit those ppl again..loads of laughin shit here n there..stil every1 is a joker as usual..hard to find those kind of ppl to hav such a freakin good sense of humour..again, it reminds me d times im being in smk hulu kelang couple years bak. I gotta look forward..to a new beginnin.. a msg to dwayne if he reads tis..stop mapling around..it kills ur freakin balls..good luck man..til d day we meet again.

sum short listed stuf to say

2008-01-27T23:07:00.000+08:00

im dun belong in a type of group of ppl..in fact i hate belongin in 1..lets c..in my skul..loads of groups..shit loads of them..sum r d so called cool group, d noisy, d quiet, d smart group, d sociable group..anyhow they suck..i hate loads of ppl..yet ok wit loads of ppl..how many dickheads hated me out there?..d more d merrier..

a rivalry

2008-01-20T15:39:00.000+08:00

I smell a band rivalry goin on..wonder wat happens nex..wuld wanna kno..seeing bands killin each other..wuld b fun to c blood shed..i love blood shed..d scent of fresh dark blood..d sight or blackened blood..turns my mind on..killin is an option.

lets c wat happens..eagerly to kno..im glad im not in..yet

tis is a blog

2008-01-19T01:55:00.000+08:00

tis a blog..an anonymous blog..seeing a blog reflects how u tink on tat person in real life..actually is kinda untrue

.....

2008-01-19T01:54:00.000+08:00

I start to dislike frenster,.make me liking it again..wtf..swt my ass

.....

2008-01-19T01:46:00.000+08:00

Darkness consume me,
anger consume me,
silent consume me,
hatred consume me,
demon consume me,
misery consume me,
thngs consuming a person,
like broad daylight til dark,
misery is my fren,
sadness is nontheless,
stop worshippin d god,
n all better thngs to come,
hopefully,
it wil,
religion is d murderer....

time for it....

2008-01-19T01:37:00.000+08:00

time for no nonsense total insult...look at tis im insultin..no..tis is not an insult or wateva isit..tis is gonna b fun
lets c ppl hu act freakin cool..arent wat they r...theres no1 hu is natural cool..wel, mayb sum special case freako..im a form 5 kid tis year..time to b matured?..neh, its time to boost man, cant u c d word KID there..i dislike being matured..eventho i can b matured in d other way..even sum form 4s or juniorer is more matured than me..they r jus stuck up, being so cool n matured so fast..screw tat man..if they tink they r so fashionable like wearin abit of a lala look t shirt n shirt wit a screw up tie (tat looks like puke on d clothes, its sick to c it) n no wearin studs u asses!, tats not meant for u, it looks sick on u, ppl may say i duno how to follow trend..tel me more, wat is tat shitty trend..tats 1 of d type of ppl hu wear it wanna hantam d most..cool..i dislike ppl hu i dun really kno, wel i enjoy tat..its really fun to dislike..lets c all sorts of stuck up faces, gay face n all..ok..tis is real a screw up post..i duno wat to do..jus lepas it la..talk crap..pantat

sum sorta post..

2008-01-19T01:25:00.000+08:00

im listenin to bleeding through currently..their music is deathcore but talkin mostly bout love, love failure most of them..sad lyrical content yet aggressive..

sick-o-hell..sick n sick..billy is a angry guy hu cant control himself..tats so cool..tis year, no fightin so far, sad case..it wil b suitable time to join in..i duwanna c anythn now..i duwan profiles..its makin my eyes sick to d limit..or shud i say over d limit..my eyeballs can burst out..i hate to b lied at..but i dun mind if sum pals lied to me, as i understand they r abit of a faggot,(i lied too) coz they pissin me out..but no no lyin to billy..if kena caught, mati la..liars, c ur pants burn in hell..my eyeballs wil b burnt too to see thngs tat of coz ordinary ppl duwan c..i almost faint once..y din i faint, it wil b cool to hav a blackout sumtimes..coma is better..or lets say dead for many years then to revived again..billy is nuts for d moment..=D big smile for d crowd..oh screw them..

i can wonder now how those ppl in d olden days caught a high fever n dun really hav any good medication like panadol..i feel d pain..both of d pain..extremely pain..tats more like it

Im bad..

2008-01-16T22:42:00.000+08:00

yes..i am..

..

2008-01-13T23:28:00.001+08:00

Thank you........

YES

2008-01-13T23:25:00.000+08:00

All goes well..im so hapi......really hapi...

be strong..

2008-01-12T00:02:00.001+08:00

Be strong..

u can do it..

u can go thru tis..

u wil nvr go..

I got faith in u..

......

2008-01-11T23:44:00.000+08:00

thngs jus come n go,
thngs jus comes from good to bad,
bad to good,
thngs ppl hav to go thru everyday,
its always installed for mankinds anytime,
he is in pain to feel tat for sum1,
pls,
let her b fine,
he beg d superiors,
pls dun do tat to her,
y dun they put him in tat state instead of her,
he rather feel d worse for himself,
than to witness it happenin on her,
a treatment she dun deserve..
put him in her place, let her go..
pls...b well...b fine...

c for urself..

2008-01-09T23:51:00.000+08:00

Heaven rise up,
helpin d innocence,
but culdnt giv d sight to d 1 hu nids it,
un-sighted un-pleasantness fillin in,
cause d 1 hu dun deserve to suffer,
soon to realise many sins he commited,
out of unwillingness of depression,
satan made him does his chore,
its not his fault,
its wats happening to him,
wat he sees,
wat he heard,
wat he read,
wat he does,
turnin to pure red blooded,
anger n hatred to d eyes of d beholder,
made hu is not hu he is,
d beast has unleashed from him,
behold, d beast within......

COB

2008-01-05T18:08:00.000+08:00

Children of Bodom...can u please sound bak like how u guys did in Something Wild, or Hatebreeder..

....

2008-01-02T23:58:00.000+08:00

1st day of skul..is 8 hours from now..time for d arsonists to come!

grand me devil power..

Recap of sumthn so important..

2008-01-02T01:43:00.000+08:00

D most important thng n d best thng tat eva happen in 2007..well not only in 2007 actually..its d whole 16 over years of a soul livin in d body of Billy..is..

..bout d creator if tis blog..

Hua Min..

..for comin into my life..

..for acceptin me..

..for supportin me..

..for caring for me..

..for loving me..

..for me to love alot..

..for everythng..

..she meant alot...more than alot to me i can say..

..if ur readin tis..wanna say I love u alot..

tq

buried by new year..

2008-01-02T00:30:00.000+08:00

happy new year..or shud hav i got my own version of new year..happy F****** extremely extreme hardcore black death metal new year..tat sounds more like it..

5

4

3

2

1.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!..oh yea bla bla bla cut d crap.. wat d hell..its jus a new year..another brand new year each year..then it wil all turn out d same thng every year..but i dun tink mines gonna b d same

my new year blog wit d song from Through The Eyes Of The Dead n others n others playin in my ears..aah..tat sounds wat i wan to come for new year..its gonna show wat i wan from d new year..its been since form 2 i changed alot..last 3 years..til now..its gettin better off me..nex year more headbangin, more fist hittin on ppl face *I wan tat!*, more shreddin, more riffin, more brain crackin for exams, more love to love sumbody tats so special to me..2008..wat u tryin to do..my last year in secondary, giv me all!

bukit tinggi..is jus sumthn..sum hill..not known by many others..its good to make it d hills of d dead..but theres no dead faggots there..its kinda boring up there..but its coolin..jus tat.. n d bunnies do look like me..cute..wat do i c most there is couples here n there..make me fed up seein so many of them..most of d time im cool there, jus being quite most of d time, doin my own stuf, din really do anythn tho, jus sit around like sum kind of uselsss thrash..n so comes to d countdown..n all i do is jus lookin at d firecrackers goin up n explode..come on, y dun it jus get shot in sum1 ears n pop their faggot head!! a new year massacre..sweet baby!..tats it for new year there..not so extreme, not so anythn..jus so so..

on wednesday, skuls startin again..n everythn goes bak to normal..yea how "NICE" wil tat b man..crackin my freakin head open to get sum shitty calculation in it..n y d hell im in pure science!..im now form 5..wat i gonna b later..i wanna b wat i wan..i duwanna b wat they wan..i nid my own life n future n career..ppl can live more happily wen they live doin wat they love most doin..skuls not gonna b easy..sum1 is gonna goin home early by van..i wil b left alone by then..unlike last year..only d good thng i can get to her break n lunch time..n hope shes willin to spend those time wit me....n i stil get to walk her to d van..

Now a new year, new ways of living, new frens*dun tink so*, new enemies*of coz*, new love 1*no way, i got a real perfect 1 now tat i love so much, i had no reason to hav a new 1*, new luck *hopefully*, new guitar*hopefully n its a must*, better grades*its a must*, new sorrow*hopefully no, im tired of it*,..wat else culd b new..
got new shoes, new bag, new hair*no more emo lookin*..looks like a new me?..i duno..but i vowed not to b like d past..im no more d more emo guy,.n looks like i got over emo music..i mean less listenin to it..it can kills sumtimes..every year, sumthn in me must change..i cant stick bak to d same roots..i use to hate my past..now i duno wat i tink bout it..its jus destined to b lidat..gotta accept it..but i dun hate d past wit me n huamin..i wan a new guitar tis year..its a must to get..i seriously need it.. tis year too culd b d release of when souls depart demo..1st ever demo..its been so long for me dreamin tat..i hope it works out well.

I wish tat in wil b seeing alot of good thngs nex year..i duwanna c anythn tat can hurt me, make me sad,make me feel not tat good, etc etc kind of stuf..its my last year..i wanna hav d best of d best in tat year..d most memorable year.. misery n sorrow, be outta me..

"grand me power of light n darkness.."

Band: Dark Tranquility

Song: Misery´s Crown

All has now been broken
On streets I dare not walk
Freedom is an illusion
I build my fences high
If there was something out there
I've learned not to expect
There's a hundred million reasons
Not to care

Don't bring it
Don't bring it
Don't bring your misery down on me
Don't bring it
Don't bring it
Don't bring your misery down on me
Wear misery's crown

As always in these matters
You broke the deal of deals
And wasted what was given
To revel in your mess
I gave up all for nothing
I tried my best and failed
There's a thousand million reasons
Never to share again

This is how it all begins
This is how it all begins

Don't bring it
Don't bring it
Don't bring your misery down on me
Don't bring it
Don't bring it
Don't bring your misery down on me
Wear misery's crown

This is how it all begins

Come now
Come now
Come now

Don't bring it
Don't bring it
Don't bring your misery down on me
Don't bring it
Don't bring it
Don't bring your misery down on me
Wear misery's crown

death be not proud..

2007-12-30T02:44:00.000+08:00

more n more students gettin smarter each year..our days r over, taken over by d new ones..its goin 2 b 2008.. gonna b 1 of d most challengin year in my life..spm n other stuf..tel me, if get to choose either passion or studies, which wan shud i take more..i love my passion but i cant neglect my studies n i must do well in studies..well, wateva, gonna c how it wil b on d 1st day of skul..'

skul is freakin startin..n yes, i wish to b an arsonist to burn d hell down of it..wit no feelings of sympathy to wateva isit its in there..instead of those norwegians satanist tat burn churches to d ground..i wwanna burn skuls down..each n every 1 of them..faggots.. y am i bloggin, always at tis hour..its d hour, where i felt most in a not myself attitude..i duno y i feel like bashin sum1 up, gouge their eye balls out, scream at their faces n all..i heard tis is sign of a demonic possession..cool..grant me powers of d demons..bla bla bla.. jus browsin around blogs..n theres jus freakin so many gedik ppl n all..i duno y ppl wuld wan to publicise so many of their faces in d blogs, wan to b famous, wan to b known?,,oh pls for hell sake..n d post tats been posted..its makin me sick to my mind, wth is wrong wit those ppl, givin fancy faggot language..'oh great, im using good english in it, ppl wil c me wonderful' sorta type..n im not goin freakin emo in blog, tis is not emo..i dun go talkin bout loses of sumthn precious, talkin sadly bout tis n tat shit..

i duno wat to doooo..new year is comin n im sure goin on a boring trip to bukit tinggi..wat can i do there..im jus being so called cool at home..i feelin myself gettin more unattached to my families..good thng or bad thng,it mayb good..i dun feel good..really..sigh..tis feelin is unexplainable..oh cut tis boys like gals shit now, how d hell can sum1 survivin listenin to those sorta emo especially its being played in radio countless times n videos played countless time on tv..stupidity..
wat sorta new year am i havin..new year of being in a feelin of loneliness?..new year being so in a bad shape..it doesn seem to start like a good year to me..if there is a sign to tel me, my year is gonna b d most challengin n yet d best n happiest year..i wuld b so grateful..i nid sumthn good to happen.....

=D

2007-12-27T22:40:00.000+08:00

CONGRATULATION HUA MIN!!

fucking pantat..

2007-12-26T22:22:00.000+08:00

2day go fuckin jammin like playin metal in hell..

adi came to d jammin session..n finally when souls depart take him in...he wil b d vocalist..i hav sum prob singing too anyway..my throat cant really take it..i duwan later to get myself into throat surgery..

we decide to change our music style rather than those metalcore wit emotional chorus..we wan make pure brutality..death metal, deathcore n grindcore..fuckin aggression..is all bout fucks n fucks!..

afta tat great n tiring time of jammin, we ate chicken rice..n talk talk all d way..then go up cueball n got chase by a fuckin mad man hu keeps talkin bout music n all..wtf...he is aiming only at me d most..n he tinks hanif my bro..wat a guy..wen we made excuse to get d fuck out of there i we all run like fuck out of d place..he is creeping d hell out of me..

we then wen bowling..

later i dun feel good, i took sum rest n not tat active talkin alot..later afta adi wen off, i hangout wit hanif awhile in coffee bean..talkin stuf bout metal n all others..

wen bak home..tats all for today..go home lie on bed for few hours, thinkin n thinkin..

tis..

2007-12-22T01:59:00.000+08:00

wel....

i guess i hav d weirdest post eva...

weird title tooo..

wil any1

2007-12-22T01:56:00.000+08:00

wil any1 come n share d songs our band produce..wil any1 care to listen..wil any1...

oh fuck! i kno its sum kind of death music. so wat d hell! im not a goodie goodie music maker!

meta heads..my blog is jus so pretty wit 'nice words"..

2007-12-22T01:40:00.000+08:00

metalheads r d coolest kind of ppl around..its trueeee..

emo posers r dead..

ok..bak to wat tis hands gonna type..

i forgot..oh great, thx to my extreme metal anger now..im seriously angry n hell moody for sum kind of shit tat i dun really get..wtf!!if sum1 sayin they dun talk but they did..again part of my metaphor or isit a metaphor or not..wateva it is..oh untrue words is tat eh..oh gosh..its wether my sensitivity anot..but hell hu cares, i like followin wat i feel, if i dun like i dun like, if i like it, i like it..but i hate it!..tis post makes no sense but there is a sense in it if u got d mood to look closely..but no1 wil..its jus crap to d eyes tat sees tis.. my feelings is gonee..look into d wall of death, c my mirror there..nice reflection..bleeding billy..

fuckkkkky

2007-12-22T01:31:00.000+08:00

y does alot of ppl like to go around n b a fucckkyyy shit ass..i no it may not b rite for d fuck for me to write d hell down here..
i always look into frenster, n seein in sum shit profiles n they wil "hi, nice to meet u..mind to intro?"..oh come on..tats d lamest thng i eva saw..wtf is wrong wit them..especially those so called pretty gals, d guys wil jus come n all givin d freakin same line "helo..mind to intro..im 19..bla bla bla"..my ass..wat d fuck..dun they kno they makin themselve sound like a low price piece of shit..d hu eva freakin good lookin gal or guy wil then tink themselve dam famous wit their dam look n jus keep postin it..oh, cmon hav sum life for fuck sake..
tats not coool..n those ppl wil act nice, n start givin darn sweet talks for example "ur pretty, dun say lidat la..u very pretty..sure alot of guys like"..ooh brother of all,.no life..

colours of silence..

2007-12-22T01:15:00.000+08:00

new layout, done by hu else again..hua min =D..thx alot...its prettyly red..n abit of black..

y m i bloggin now..hmm..i not sure..mayb coz im goin on emo again..neh, not really..jus feelin like wanna say sum stuf out here..yea, learnin on vocals..i jus got interested into vocaling..my bro improvin on his gtr..feel glad for him..i hope he gets better n better..n b 1 of d best around..of coz into metal n super shreddins..lol..

i din post any pics here..it looks kinda boring in blog wit jus words n no pic..kinda shitty..i jus duno how d hell to put it yet..also i got no good cam to take any pic..my pic is not around like any other famous ppl..tats a good thng..my face doesn go exposin around..tats a good thng..lucky no cam for me..words of me is not everywhere..tats a good thng too..hmm..hu wil wanna talk bout sum1 like me anyway..wat d fuck m i crappin here..

im jus too complicated for sum1 to kno me..i duno y im sayin tis..but jus sayin it out here..aaah..sumthn is not rite wit me..ish..save me....save me....

.....

2007-12-15T20:15:00.000+08:00

ntg to say...

simply..

for fun..

oh holy fuck..

wat tis shit..

I hate it alot..

back-flash..flash-back

2007-12-07T04:02:00.000+08:00

Today met up wit old frens from my tuition last year, alain, woo, yip, kyian..d others din come..too bad..wel, its like d old times where we guys go lepak-ing around n all..

...1 year plus ago, d tuition was really fun to go to..pmr year n we were like playin up n down instead of studyin..we even go to tuition to ponteng n play daytona in ampang point..duno wat happen 1 day suddenly every1 got obssessed wit daytona includin d gals..haha..kinda lost contact wit almost all except sum ppl..gals alot lost contact..michelle baru recently..mei yan..dnuo where she go..yee won..same interact club!..haha..but also jarang contact..afta pmr..every1 seem to split..then its forgotten..bout other classes..stil in contact wit may lyn..haha..tat lil lil lil gal.jugak sama interact club.

i kno alot of metal dudes too..in d class where u can c its flooded wit black T-shirt..same too we lost contact..lose sum metal members..sad case..if not of goin there, form3 wuldnt b d best year for me..i miss tat year eventho its abit stressful pmr stuf..yea..coz of it..i start to take *sumthn sumthn*..it so much fun we go n ponteng come bak to class late, go crazy..n then laughter everywhere..makin sum teacher feel pissed..haha..i stil remember theres a nerd in d class n quite poyo..my fren's*not to b named* boyfren..how cum she got so bad taste..eew.haha..

we once play black jack behind d class a t toilet..d whole boys..got caught.haha..make excuse tat brandon is sick or stomach upset n duno wat excuse from each other..haha..tats sick..

tis year...thngs change alot for every1..wel..like wat a fren said to me..d world is moving every second..clock ticks by..we gotta accept changes n move on wit our life..thx 4 tat..it awakens me alot..haha..time for me to get off tis chair..signin off

wondering..

2007-12-05T02:32:00.000+08:00

I jus browse thru a blog...n i found out tat vanessa was like copyin d whole conversation of duno how many of us talkin..wow..

wow..wat can u say bout her..shes so weird..1st time i saw sum1 did tat..it was a freakin long conversation..n can any1 understand tat?..my role is so lil..n tats where i got my new nickname Baba Bachai..=,=''...sweet...

If dwayne sees tis..dwayne, tel ur sis stop listenin or watchin ZAC EFRON..he is a fuckin killer gay of d society my fren..anyhow, high skul musical sux big time!

n i can believe, in tat convo..i tot dinni was dinie n its actually dinesh..n i tot dwayne as dinie once n dinie as dwayne once..wow..serious blur case prob i had..
I can jus talk to sum1 n my mind wil stray to sumwhere else n i wil b talkin shit there..dangerous..i culd hav spilled out my private part to ppl..swt..

1 thng tat is good in tis holiday is tat i did contact alot wit my old skul frens..nicee..kinda miss d times wen wit them..especially in d funny gang where VJ was stil around n so am i..can stil feel d sadness i felt of d last day of skul last year.. i was like d last to go home tat day. watchin everybody leavin 1 by 1..then wen all left..i sat alone tinkin..m i doin a right decision to move? i jus made good new frens near d end of d year but too bad i gotta move..its risky to take sudden changes lidat..i may regret it.. there i was..d final day in d land i had been studyin for almost 10 years since d start of primary 1..

its already december..now wats nex?..more hard times to come as i can c..its so obvious from now..y must i born out to b a student?..y am i in d science stream..gosh!..i wan to go play in gigs, i wanna go tour...escape from all those..now tats d situation where my life belongs to..

havin prob gettin a new guitar now..i wan a ESP eclipse model i saw tat day..I love d sound of it so much..fuckin heavy metal man!..

holidays suppose to study..but wat am i doin now..gaming?..guitaring?..composin?..writing?..readin?..i duno..i seem to lost spirit in doin anythn tis days..wondering..i jus wanna go out to b occupied..no1 invited me to go anywhere so far..looks like i gonna be out all alone again..now i kno d true of loneliness..being alone walkin in malls..see tat guys havin their partner female they love wit them, gals havin their male partners wit them,..hate to admit it..but its not really a good sight to me..so i gues tis is how my fren felt..yea, i guess im feelin like him..i jus dun like it..its makes me more down..uh, I miss her so much..how i wish shes here by my side always..

last friday, wen to klcc wit my old frens mostly classmate n 2 ex tuition frens..more like a gathering..we did a surprise bday thng 4 derrick..hapy bday man.. we watch enchanted..but my mood isnt there 4 movies..sumthn jus bothered my mind..sum1 is jus missin..
afta d movies all wen for meals..i din ate as i was tryin to save sum cash..klcc food is expensive..jus being parasite diggin on frens food..walk around..n there I met ojosan..wat a coincedence..she wit her good fren ana n 2 other frens i duno hu..as usual im d last to go home..since i got ntg much to do i met up wit ojosan n her fren since we din met 4 a very very long time..talk talk talk..n yea, mostly crap..but nvm, at least sum1 is laughin her head out..>.<..lol....then its time 4 both of them to go home..n there a lone soldier i am walkin aimlessly in klcc..d sun is settin..n i gotta go..its almost 6 sumthn n d bus is takin a long time..sum1 is bout to on9..took a quick walk from ampang point bus station..walk home..it was real tiring..ahh!..finally, i did came on..mission acomplished.

nice layout i had..an emo layout..tat signifies depression,anger,sadness,etc etc..tats not really wat i am though..but almost every1 knos im lidat..in d internet, i wil b so angry n emotional n all..I jus remembered d early times where i jus started playin frenster last 2 years..my profile was worse than how it is now..it has themes of anti religion, mocking religion, praisin satan n all..gals afraid to add me n even approve me..every1 saw my profile tinkin im sum what a psycho..my frens saw my profile n claim im so differ than wat is shown in d profile..wel..duh, of coz, dun tel me u tink im a satanist..haha..i jus got into heavy metal tat time..1 of my aunt hu is christian gila gila tinks im really a satanic guy..n assume all i listen to is satanic..=,=''..tink bout it, i really do change fast 2 years ago til now..even im now so differ compare to d time im form 3..i dun really judge myself, but i can jus feel d difference, there is a difference..nex year, duno wat i wil change into..sumthn better or not d better..

oh well, no matter, billy wil always b billy..
I really cant stand stayin at home afta sunrise..i hope sum1 wil jus come ask me "billy, wanna go out"..I duwanna stay home before sunset..I feel so duno how to describe bout it..aah!!.

P.S: theres a misery crown on my head..take it off it cant..
what is said n done is done..its now a part of d past..lookin bak wil not make a difference if not decidin to learn from it.

Tagged by Mei Ji aka Ojousan

2007-12-05T01:41:00.000+08:00

aTOP 5 PRESENT YOU WISH FOR:
1. Hua Min marry me!!
2. ESP guitars!!
3. My own jammin/recordin studio
4. PS3!
5. My independence

PERSON WHO TAGG-ED YOU IS: Ho Mei Ji aka ojousan

YOUR 5 IMPRESSIONS OF HIM/HER :
1. very good to her otousan
2. talkative
3. cheerful
4. Loves MONEY
5. NOOB

MOST MEMORABLE THINGS HE/SHE HAS DONE FOR YOU:
made me her otousan suddenly without my acceptance

THE MOST MEMORABLE WORDS HE/SHE SAID TO YOU:
baka otousan

IF HE/SHE BECOMES YOUR LOVER, YOU WILL:
no way!!eew, tats sick..how can a father date his own daughter n cheat on his daughter mother..is tis question mad!!?

IF HE/SHE BECOMES YOUR ENEMY, THE REASON WILL BE:
I call her stupid n noob too many times n tease wit using made up fake jepun-nese words on her tat i dun even kno. n keep ejek-ing her til i go over limit n she got speechless..tats cool.. neh, she wunt b my enemy..Im jus such a great daddy

me?..

2007-12-04T22:47:00.000+08:00

mood like sial..its swayin here n there..

duno wat to blog eventho theres so much thng..

give me idea..

no1 is gonna give me idea..mayb there is..

oh bloody hell, dun jus so called simply judge me..judge properly la fuck..

can see wats in me?..nop..cant..

kno d true me?..duno..

screw heavy metal?..screw u 1st..

brand new guitar, an ESP eclipse..I wan..

new shit on d way?..hopefully..

look, im jus pissed like if sum1 jus come up to me n say "ur a piece of shit, ur bad, no doubt u r"..wtf!! hu d fuck u tink u r d judge me tis way..u dun even really kno hu i am..dude..fuck off..bring ur words to ur grave..

aftanoon feelin lonely n shitty, it makes me start to hate to stay home after sun rise

wil sum1 come up n say "I kno u, i understand u"..

if sum of u tink ur in a really fucked life now..look at me 1st shit heads..welcome to d club.

worse holz ever..

blog is not me, im not my own blog..

4 weeks more to d fuckin holidays..how am i gonna survive..

how long am i gonna withstand tis..

its jus shit to c d softcore emo bands comin up tis days..

Im also human..remember tat..

wateva it is..Im screwed!!!!!!!

the calm..

2007-11-20T03:44:00.000+08:00

Now d internet is alot better than few hours ago..y..y..din u get better jus now..u made me miss my opportunity to talk..grrrr..

yesterday we had a good time at azim bday party..i reached there earlier like 4sumthn..4 hours b4 d party started to meet up wit hanif n d rest..we jam awhile then got called to stop playin as we r playin too heavy metal tat others wil hav hard time acceptin it..d food was great..d choco cake wit tis thick dark choco gooie gooie thngie..oh my..its so good..only if she was there to eat d choco cake wit me...shameer,azim, n denesh got pushed down into d pool..i miss it..i was in azim room tat time wit nazri..i was being moody n quiet..tinkin of her..yea..missin her.

in d holidays if im not workin i wil b doin 5 thngs..tat is study, guitarin,composin songs, readin novels, ps2,..oh wait..theres a 6th thng..anime!!..i shud b workin thx to my mum hu dun like me to work..n i wil b home afta work wit her mumble n make my life worse than hell..gosh, giv me a break mum..=,=''

as every1 can c tat my layout is changed..it suits me..thx 2 hua min..she did it out o surprise to surprise me..it does suit me..she really do knos me alot..shes real nice..I love her..its been like a few days into d holz n i feel like i nvr seen her 4 eternity..wow..wonder how m i gonna go thru d following days..well..no way im gonna b a sissy cryin 4 d rest of d holz..i must b strong..i promise her to b hapi always n wil b hapi always..wil try..u too hapi always k...i wanna go out wit her..wanna c her asap...d last time we wen is d nite concert day..we had dinner at shakeys..havin pizza together..so nice..nex round kfc as i said b4..heh.. aih..i wan hua min..i miss hua min..
Hua min, revive ur blog la,heh...I love u..thx 4 d layout.

When Souls Depart

2007-11-10T23:27:00.000+08:00

A new band is form..tis culd b d best band 4 me..

we r consist of: Billy (guitar n mayb vocal)
Hanif (drums)
Yusof (guitar n mayb vocal)
Nick (bass)

its not tat complete line up yet though..

afta d old days, bout d band i jus mention in d previous post..it culd hav been over me..
we got tis band together n we re playin metal n hardcore..we sounded deathcore/thrash 4 now but hu knos wat sound we may change in d future but sure is metal 4 life.. we did our 1st jammin session today..n it turn out real good..too bad nick miss it..we got a 2nd guitar hu is yusof, hanif nephew hu is only standard 5!..he is d man..once he grow he sure hav bright metal future..my dream of havin a brutal metal band is finally realized..we wil do our best to make tis band a hit..i as a member solemnly made an oath to make tis band a success..

behold... When Souls Depart

Its over..not!!

2007-11-03T01:00:00.000+08:00

Our band..din manage to get into d end year concert..i was real sad over 2 thngs..our band din make it n every1 includin me, nick, shaun, hanif was down coz of it..i duno..but i feel bad..afta tis, i say to myself, im not gonna perform in skul anymore..seriously, i jus get to think tat d audition we did n tried to enter d end year concert is jus a fuckin waste of time..y d fuck must we perform 4 d skul..its only parents,teachers n students to watch..we jus b wat we r..a band..playin d music we like, not wat d crowds like..if d skul wans to hear some shit ass songs to us, well fuck tat, we aint gonna giv u tat..we r not gonna do it 4 u,.we hav our passion..

we din did much practice..jus 1 jammin session..n tats it..n my solos r jus fuckin random on d spot.. we r gonna 4get tat, as theres a new band emerging..but u wont c them in skul..d band shall write their songs together, d band shall hav d same interest, d band shall b massively heavy, tats a dream band i been dreamin 4..hopefully it shall b a reality soon..i hope it can worked out..I jus love playin heavy stuf, u can say im not a good musician cause i dun play other stuf but only heavy music..i dun giv a fuck of wat u tink..i jus wanna do wat i like..i nvr say i wanna b profesional or wateva fuck shit..we shud hav tat mind of doin wat we wan..it helps alot n wil make ur life happier..

listenin to angry music make me angry but HAPPY at d same time..i jus hate happy music..tat makes me feel sick..we may hav another chance of playin music 4 d skul tat is in IU day nex year n wit d theme tat i suggest, we may play sumthn atleast we like..not them..well, im jusn crappin here..gonna get some rest.

P.S: to childhood dreamers n musicology, congrats 4 gettin in to d year end concert. play well

...........

2007-11-03T00:29:00.000+08:00

My 1st blog since i duno wen..

havin d book of doom..so called d name it is now..its jus books of stuf to release stuf in it tat i really dun like or i feel sad or angry or wateva..its gonna turn out to b 1 hell of a metal shit in there..

some stuf make u feel bad..but wat to do..its how its suppose to b..always make ur life in a living hell of ur own..then u wil tink of dying bla bla bla..even if u cant take it..dun ur fuckin life away..u must fuck d life of d of others..now tats wat i call authentic actions to do..vengeance..yea..grudges..they r so so cool..lettin them taste d same medicine they gav u..haha..im collectin grudges..

Im jus pissed of over some issue..part of it, u kno wat, another 1, u kno wat, another 1, u kno wat..i duno..

Im always being so insultive over stuf i dun like..well, its fun to insult where u can c d changes on d persons face..its funny..in ur face man..

I duno wat to say anymore..im jus pissed 4 no apparent reason..im jus mad 4 no apparent reason..im jus down 4 no apparent reasons..or mayb there is reasons to it..yea,n im alone..gosh..im so unstable..fuck it..

P.S: wat a nice beginning to my 1st blog since duno wen d hell..

FINALE...

2007-09-25T09:24:00.000+08:00

To all..d finale is comin..few days more..n ta da....d results

Bless the fall rox shit man!!

SMEAR CAMPAIGN

2007-09-18T08:16:00.000+08:00

STUDENT COUNCIL PRESIDENT CAMPAIGN!!

VOTE VOTE N VOTE!!

i duno tat its so fun to paste posters everywhere

meaning in tragedy confined

2007-09-11T08:42:00.000+08:00

Lets see..wen tis blog is made..i intend to only put music in it..as in to promote my original work..sumhow it turns out d other way..i look at d theme of it..i felt d sorrow..i felt d anger..i felt d sadness..i start bloggin without noticing it..its noticing wat im doin..its not jus a simple blog..is all angry n sad blogs..y?..y am i so sad..y am i so angry..unexplained theory to y it is..but as far as i culd c..billys theme is sadness n brutality..i hate feeling sad..i hate feeling angry nor moody..but i sumhow im so use to myself of being lidat..til i find out im meant to live lidat..wel tats not really..true..i said b4 unexplained theory..im always hapi outside..but inside seems like a broken life..normal to feel..as in like there r thngs im not satisfied, there r thngs i din get d proper answer, there r thngs tat doesn seem like wat it is said tat made prob in my heart by keep wonderin n wonderin, there r thngs tat i wan to kno d answer badly tats d true answer, there r thngs i wan to kno it honestly n not lies, n all those shit..another theory of me being hardcore emo music minded, listenin to those sad n angry songs make me feel good as in feeling shiok n angry n sad at d same time, a feeling hard to explain, d songs keep playin in my mind, tellin bout their downed life, their lost love, bout d gal they loved n how she has left them jus lidat, its mainly more to love relationship couples tat made tis kind of music, d underground kinda emotional hardcore music tat shows d true emotion n feelings of ppl than rather b poser comin out to d mainstream n call themselve wateva shit they r..if they tink plain white T, boys like girls, red jumpsuit apparatus, jimmy eats world, or etc etc r good..tink again..there many thngs way better lies beneath..bak to myself, i can cry wen i listen to sum of those kind of music..ok sum ppl may tink im jus gay n soft hearted but really its touchin n emotional n u can feel d music reflects ur life or make it part of ur life..eventho they may had those grindcore n screamins but those r expressin feelings in hidden lyrics tat is way more unique than clean vocals..
Blog to express inner feelings n releasin anger..my blog wil hardly eva sound hapi..i dun really fancy sounding hapi even if i am in a good mood..but i really do wan d 1 by my side to b n sound hapi..but sumtimes i culd cause grave sadness to eventho its not on my will..i had nvr once wanted her to feel sad nor angry..but thngs jus dun go on my wil sumtimes..life is lidat..y am i easily angry..a theory explains i listen to too much angry music tat wen i got angry i feel d beats playin in my mind, lyrics to tel me to kill, destroy n all those..harm d 1 tat deserve it n d 1 i dislike n hate n all shit..comin into my mind..i became heartless 4 d moment. it subside soon n wil regain d self conscious of myself..tat is half true i tink..there r sum frens i wanna get rid of n sum i really like..wat is FRENS..it doesn mean anythn..even d 1 we dun really like r our frens..always d word FRENS shows as if there r alot of meanings by sayin "so wat, we r frens" "coz they r my frens" "Frens ma"..haha..i jus did feel its all fake..not all frens r always d frens we wanted..there r alot frens in my life tat doesn deserve much n there r sum hu deserve alot..I dun take all frens tat important..i neglect lots of their feelings coz they deserve it..but not sum which r really true frens n not gonna name them incase of sensitive issue occurs..I had been so stupid last time to trust all frens hu r GOOD to me as in "good"..alot of ppl cant b trusted no matter how good they r to u,us,me or we..we cant read their minds totally..I had frens tat smoke..1 of them is d 1 tat taught me to..he is a true fren..so called bad guys turns out to b d real good guys or frens same to as gals but hardly find any of them..
Sleepless nites has been a big part of my life..i always have black rings around me eyes..dun need buy make ups to giv me eyes shadows..i always hav natural ones...haha..there r normal reasons y hav sleepless nites..such as busy..nex..is sumthn tat made me cant really go slp..n always gotta use skul times to slp..tireness..part of sum sort of a feelin i cant describe..wth..gtg..in pc lab... to b continue.........

Down by dusk...

2007-09-07T22:27:00.000+08:00

I duno bout my title of tis blog..doesn seem to hav anythn to do wit my post 4 now..

Merdeka a week ago..celebrated in d skul..almost bore me to death..im lucky to hav life supposrt system..every year d same celebratin merdeka..but i dun find any special meaning in it..ntg we gain..duwan elaborate more..malas afta ppl wan come arrest me..a free country as it is said..=,='..

Tis week of skul is boring.. a fucking week..wonder y im comin to skul everyday tis week..playin wit haow bin hp wen i got free time or boring lessons..form 3 havin trial..cant disturb tat much..but stil cant help it..but its jus 4 awhile..not a good week 4 me..tiring week..week of cloudy mind..lifeless..bla bla bla..im gettin bad signs of myself..it seems like im easily angry n stuf..d demon is comin bak..welcome bak.

tis week found out bout d alumni performance..azim,nick n eugene performin..so it looks like gonna b n hanif doin sum lil instrumental stuf..but its not confirm we wil perform then..1st gotta go thru audition..2nd its takes abit of time to practice n my fuckin exams r comin near..all shit n shit..haih..i wanna perform though..

nex week gonna bisect stuf..cool..mice,frogs, fish, roach..n fuck ..i hate roaches..eew..even d wings of it i felt d grossiness of it..no mice i wuld like to bisect d hamster..shave it bald then bisect it..even better if we can get a corpse of sum1 else n bisect it..take all d organs..yea!!..

........

2007-09-02T02:17:00.000+08:00

1. How old will you be in 12 months?
~17 plus

2. Do you think you'll be married by then?
~of coz not but hu knos

3. What do you look forward to most in the next 3 months?
~gigs, parties, recordin....n wat else..

4.Who was the last person that youcall?
erm..i tink its d abang bally from d jam studio we use to jam..

5. Who was the last person to text you?
~Hua Min

6. Do you prefer to call or text?
~Both

7. Do you have any pets?
~too bad..no

8. What were you doing at 12am lastnight?
~smsin hua min

9. Do you like carrots?
~no

10. When is the last time you saw your mum?
~b4 she wen to bed

11. How many houses have you lived in?
~7 as far i can remember

12. How many cities/towns have youlived in?
~ 3

13. Do you prefer shoes, socks, orbare feet?
~bare feet is cooling

14. Are you a social person?
~depends on my mood

15.What was the last thing you ate?
~mamak mee goreng!

16. Favorite color?
~black

17. What are you doing for your next birthday?
~ ntg..every year dun really hav plans 4 it

18.What is your favorite TV show?
~ animes n ultraman

19. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
~ wth is tat?

20. Last time you had a bath?
~ jus now around 9.15pm

21. Last item you bought?
~hmm..food?

22. How many glasses of water a day do you drink on average?
~ i dun count

24. What are you listening to?
~ duno..random heavy metal n hardcore music

25. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
~ i sleep all sides

26. Do you know how to play poker?
~ i duno

27. What are you thinking about?
~ hUA

28. Any plans for this weekend?
~ suppose to go 4 napalm death consert today but tak jadi n 2mrws havin hi-tea in Nikko hotel*if tats wat d name is*

29. Do you eat out or at home more often?
~ out

30. What would you change about yourself?
~ i let changes occur naturally thru experience n knowledge

31. What are you wearing?
~ pants n a t shirt

32. Who was the last person to tell you they liked you?when?
~ can changed to 'love'?..jus now..b4 she fell aslp

33. Have you ever been in an ambulance?
~ nop

34. Do you prefer an ocean or pool?
~ both hav pros n cons

35. Who's your crush?
~ i tink its more than a crush..fuck..im blur wit d d term crushes

36. Do you know how to drive a stick shift?
~ wat d fuck is tat?

37. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
~ thngs i wan

38. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7?
~ no

39. Do you speak any other language?
~ english/malay/broken cantonese/billy's own language

40. Do you love anyone right now?
~ YES!!

41. Who is the funniest person you know?
~ shud b 'persons'..loads i tink..vj, shazz, harith, etc..

42. Do you sleep with stuffedantilopes?
~ again "wtf is tat!?"

43. Do you have any regrets?
~ yes

44. Do you like coffee?
~ yes

45. What is the main ring tone on yourphone?
~ i duno..jus random..lame hp

46. What is the color of your bedroomwalls?
~ its white but i c black, isit me or its really black?

47. Do you shut off the water when you brush your teeth?
~ nop

48. Do you wish someone was with youright now?
~ yes

49. Do you miss someone right now?
~ yes

50. Do you talk to the person who posted this before?
~ yes..

Survey tat i found...

2007-08-28T08:40:00.000+08:00

The "Had To" section....

1. If you HAD to get a tattoo, where would you want it?
~3 parts. my back body, my left arm, n curled around my fingers like snakes tattoos

2.If you HAD to dye your hair which color would you choose ?
~ Dark red

3. If you HAD to get a piercing (THAT ISN'T YOUR EARS) what would you get pierced?
~ if not my ears, i really wan to hav piercing on my lips..

4. If you HAD to change your name...what new name would you choose?
~ Luciferous..spontanoeusly tot it out..haha..a devil name always sounds cool

The "Would You?" section

1. If you could go bungee jumping,would you?
~ hmm..half hearted

2. Would you move somewhere else, if you could?
~ Yea, to a bigger house of MY OWN, nearby everythng i wanted

3. If you were given the chance to go to Paris, would you go?
~ I been there b4, i wuld wan to go there again..tis time bring galfren..hehe

4. If you found 10 million dollars,and it was YOURS to spend, what would you do with it?
~ Buy new guitars! Buy a fully equip drumset! a big house! build a jammin studio of my own! new pc! Buy more favourits CDS! PS3! Bring my gal to egypt!..donate abit to charity.=P

The "Let's Say" Questions:

1. Let's say you see a big shipsink...only 3 people have a chance to survive. The 3 people are Your BestFriend, Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend, and a long lost friend (that you don't know too well)...who would you save ifyou HAD to choose ONLY 1 person?
~ depends hu I c first, most likely i wil find n rescue my girlfriend first, coz i love her the most..

2. Let's say you became President...what is the first thing you would do?
~ enjoy wealthy life..

3. Lets say you had to eat a live tarantula for $1,000..would you?
~ fuck off..

4. Let's say you could star in anymovie (made or in the works) what movie?
~ as d new spiderman..or lets say new jedi in star wars..ultraman..haha..most likely i wuld like to b star in a war torn action pack film as a fightin warrior or watsoeva or in a world of demons where i am a lone soldier to save d world from demons..haha

The "Favorites" section:

1. Color?
~ Black

2. Current song?
~ Rhapsody and iron maiden songs

3. Shirt you own?
~ I like mostly all of my shirt

4. Electronic device?
~ PC

5. Movie?
~ Constantine...

6. Book?
~ ghost stories..any scary like shit ones

7. Pair of shoes?
~ my so called emo style shoe

8. Sandal color?
~ Grey

9. Hair color?
~ Dark red

10. Eye color?
~ White

The "Other Stuff" section:

1. What makes your bedroom unique?
~ my late grandfather walkin stick is kept in my room

2. Who do you like?
~ frens tat r truly nice, good hearted n can b trusted..but hard to find 1 tis days..

3. Do you go to parties?
~ of coz..

4. What's your favorite season of the year?
~ Winter but malaysia season kinda sucky n boring

5. Do you like cheese?
~ I love cheese

6. What's bothering you now?
~ Unexplained stuf or truth tat i wanna kno,.or mayb im jus paranoid..

sadness + ..... forgive n forget

2007-08-26T02:58:00.000+08:00

I tink..i started to like sadness..hahaha..wtf!!..harith came bak to KL..i met up wit him afta so lonbg n realise his phone is fill wit total emo songs..n really its nice..but wats better is sadness + brutality!!..yea..if those songs culd jus b modified wit grinding hardcore riff n vulgar lyrics wit sad stories behind plus emotional shit breakdown..tat can make even god shed his tears on..better than d band all that remains..better than triviums album ember to inferno tats fil wit breakdown..yea..i tink i got an idea of wat to do..haha..so called emotional hardcore/metalcore..it wil b better than tat..okie..wats more..

my bro is gettin hornier day by day!!..hahaha..omg..he attempt to watch sum part of d forgotten old porn videos i downloaded.. He is finally becomin a man!! wel done!!

my bro name can b a good band name..Bloody Barry..sounded similar to bloody mary..haha..i gonna use tat name 4 sure 1 day..

Last sunday, i wen out wit Hua Min..n gues wat..i dun had a plan on wat to do..she ask me "so plan wat to do?" n i jus say "tinkin..."..haha..we jus do stuf spontaneously there..we watch d 1st movie rush hour 3..not bad movie..sum lame jokes n stuf..ok..b4 d movie started we look 4 sits..n she claims its her first time to walk so much in d cinema..i got blur on which side we r suppose to sit..she wen to d rite part n i say no d other part so we walk to d other part n then i realise actually its d wrong part n we shud b on d other part where she says tats d part w e r suppose to sit n we walk bak there again..haha..its kinda confusin on how i elaborate it though..nex it purikura or kurikura or wateva they call it.. its fun!!..i duno if im really a guy or wateva..but i dun giv a dam..its jus fun takin those pic..im kinda noob though,..1st timer..haha..huamin was shocked to c me havin interest in all tis pic stuf.haha..we walk around n i kno she sure gonna feel pain on her legs..actually tryin my best to stop walkin n sit awhile..but d situation wasnt considerable, no seats..we jus got bak to TS..got tickets 4 d 2nd movie which is a real funny cantonese movie wit lame ending call Contract lovers..haha..afta d movies..we sit n talk while waitin 4 her sis..it was fun..not bad 4 me without plannin anythn..hopefully nex time i wil hav full plan up on wat to do..jus hopefully..XD

On wed, wen out wit my old skul frens..good to c them again..shaz is stil d same funny talkin ass guy...but semakin emo..tats d spirit man.,go SCREAMO!!..hahaha.

d following days were days of mostly boredom...bored bored n bored....
wat to..i bored...aaaah..i jus kno sum news from my old skul..bout happenings tat happen unexpectedly happen..coooool..

d following days r jus days of boredom,happiness,cheerful,moody,sad,angry..all those fill up my holz..hahaha..join me in anti rokok kempen..hahaha..wat d hell!!?..

P.S: truth is always d best..realise d sin i made, change 4 d better,..every1 deserve chances to b sum1 better..

signin off

My title has no meanin...

2007-08-16T19:59:00.000+08:00

"Your head in your hands, this is my cue..If only 3 words can heal you, I only speak 2..."

Im born into a life full of everythn u can get..so do as others..tis life has its bright n dark side.. I am sick..sick n tired of doin everythn..i wan to end it now..i kno i sounded suicidal..i always sound suicidal..but c c few years later im stil standin on both feet..haiz..i gues tis d sign of ppl listenin to FATA..aggression fill wit sadness..pure n original.. life is unfair.. u get blame 4 d thngs u did not do..u get blacklisted 4 sum slight misunderstandin n 4 thngs u did unintentionally..ppl dun understand u..tis so called life givin by god..im gonna say.. believe in christ wil only brings u to sum1 unoriginal, jus a sumhow sinless puppet..believe in d true satanism shows wat u really are..brings out wat u r..n unleash all ur true self in reality...dun care d bright or dark side..fuck wat they say bout u..they r not more then a thrash of society than wat u r.. u listen to heavy metal, they listen to sweet lullabies..sum accept wat it but others tink ur jus shit.. n no taste 4 music..smokers..if u smoke..u smoke..wats matter is in u..dun despise smokers..tinkin they r bad or sumthn jus coz they smoke..they got freedom ot do wat they wan..ok,except drugs..wen ppl says ppl dislike u..wat do u do?..wack them?.its ok, can wack also..til die also can b ok sumtimes if they deserve to die..jus tink 4 urself, u got sumthn they dun hav..ur pride n dignity..ur own mind created by nature..not god..nature..ur ownself tats sumthn to get wat u deserve sumday..mostly, ppl r equal..its d matter on how they develop themselve..like in on9 games..all characters start d same n depends on d playas how they wanna upgrade themselve...life wil b full of love n hatred..being loved n hated..theres pros n cons in everythn..wel..conclusion is wat d fuck m i sayin now...im jus crappin all way...fuck...

now searchin bout lisan info n bloggin at d same time..msotly spend time on bloggin..cool..i need vocals practice..i wanna start up singin n screamin n growlin.. im being energetic tis days...tats sumthn good to happen to me.. i hav been really horny n stuf..talkin crap wit my frens..haha..cool..haha..but i feel i offended them abit sumtimes..gotta control..i apologise soon afta..im jus too high sumtimes..n tis days roaches keep fallin from d ceiling on haow bin..hahaha..so funny..tat time havin bio lesson n i was slpy, alsmot fell aslpy, suddenly realise theres sumthn crawling in his bak..its a roach!!..haha.. igot so panic..i almost use wai lok pencil case to wack it off..n luckily he saved his pencil case fast..hahaha..haow bin got panic wit aaron..d roach fell to d floor n he crush it wit d chair..muahahaha!!.EVIL..hahaha..then today again got another roach fell n tis time near aaron..haow bin step on it..muahahaha!!..im gonna b hapi hapi hapi no matter wat happens..i wil try tat..no use tinkin bout it n havin sour faces alld time..n being quiet n fuckin emo..hahahah..wat is said n done is said n done..jobs done..now its time to move on..n on.. n on...

phooisze finally blog bout me!!..hahahah..how nice...n its funny i gues..hahaha..thx alo..n reminder..i nvr force u..u do it on ur own wil..haha..dun say i force u to do it..hahahah..finally..i jus knew sum1 hu got a KARMA..padan muka u!!..signin off

1 week in a apocalyptic live..

2007-08-12T01:00:00.000+08:00

Last whole week was like one of d worse week tis year..i din feel so bad b4..i feel so angry..so moody..so wanna kill any1 hu stands in my, hu offended me, he wateva wit me..or bla bla bla..its like sumthn is takin over my mine..sumthn sinister..wow..i tink i shud get over being interested in evil stuf..neh..i dun tink so..as long there is evil..there is fun..hahaha

wassup wit ppl wit ppl tat listen to heavy metal or hardcore music..there r sum heard me listenin to those kind of music claim i had a bad childhood..wtf is wrong wit u ppl!!?..i tink u r d 1 havin a dememted childhood..its d best music in d world dammit..tel me more tat ur sissy sounded music is d best..i kno sum ppl hu read tis wil say music taste depend on d ppl..wel, tis is not all bout taste, it is d fact..n u tink i got a sad childhood..come into my life n i wil show u wats really sad..dun ever despise ppl hu listens to heavy metal n obssessed wit it..u duno wat u wil expect..

my mum ask me to take off d poster in my rooms..she told my dad bout it..sayin it had tis sum kind of sign tat is d so called rocker sign comin out..n all those..my mum tinks its giving bad luck to all..wtf! then u puttin cross n holy words at home dun u tink it brings bad luck too..understand tat its jus a band..they r jus posin..there r no satanic theme in it..its jus music..come on..opened up ur mind..dun eva claim me an antichrist..coz im not one..to b like my christians aunt hu claim all d music i listen r satanic..im jus interested in anti religion stuf n heavy music..tats all..not more than tat..dun make it into reality tat ur church wil b burn down sumday..n wil b d 1 doin it..DAM..y dun u all jus accept d fact tat im into heavy metal..accept wat i like..accept wat i do..respect my wil n decisions..

in skul..few days arent tat good..i seem to b freakin slpy in class all d time..come out class also slpy like hell..im extremely moody n emo tis days too..i duno y..mayb of sum unpleasant sight..n coz of my mood..affected other ppl..im so sorry.. Its not on my wil.i really dun feel tat good..i start kickin a class doors coz i got pissed at sumthn like d teacher in there..duno wat i was doin..haha.. gues wat..i did felt like breakin down..n mayb i did break down abit..gosh im so emo..wat da fuck..hahah.. but i realise my mistake..how stupid of me to do it.. but there is always a conclusion to all tis, learn from mistakes ..each time we do sumthn we learn from it n slowly become a new person in a positive way.. hopefully it works on me..

oh oh..i tried on an eye linear 4 d first time..oh my..i look so girlish..n i like it!!..i been wantin to try on tat 4 so long..hahahaha..

another thng in skul..i gues i wont hav my lessons quietly startin from d time i knew phooisze..msg msg msg me non stop..haha..lucky i stil can concentrate while entertainin her boredom..=,="..haha..n end up i wil stop msg her coz got teacher nearly c get or i lazy *dun marah me ah, i terpaksa coz my laziness too powerful..haha*..no swt la,u stil can msg me anytime in skul k..haha..she tinks im horny..swt..wel..i may get high sumtimes..but seems like u tink im horny all d while..hahaha..wth..XD..shes a nice lil lil gal..kinda cute..can talk bout anythn n she slps walk, SCARY man!!..she kinda match wit my bro..haha..better marry my bro n b my sis in law..hahaha..hey..look at tis..im bloggin bout u without me noticin it..so BEST FREN rite me..hahaha..must bake more cookies out of my name as a reward le..CHOCOLATE wan u kno..hahaha

my ojosan ho mei ji blog bout me..awww..how sweet..shes d 1st person to blog bout me..haha..do read her blog nout her 'ojousan n her mummy'..its kinda funny to c her mummy more..haha..but theres a complicated relationship in it..haha.. i miss my ojosan..last time almost whole year nvr talk much til i knew her towards d end of d year then later talk more n more n more n start gossipin n tellin me stuf..haha..but too bad..time not tat much to hangout..i shifted to ssg dy..haha..dun say rich ppl skul..afta i kena kidnapped wei n jual me..haha.i not rich, i poh kai dy..tis days i not much time to go bak visit d tuition centre also..if not can find her sittin around 6pm sumthn in d octopus or mcd restaurants but now duno stil always have dinner there anot..nyahaha..but only belanja me a green tea..=,=''..1 of d person from my old skul i most keep in touch wit..one day i show u okasan afta all d exams..hehe..ur okasan pretty pretty cute cute oh..XDXD

EPL start dy n i dun even realise it..swt..XD

n on friday..hmm..sumthn happen la..HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

finally..weekends..sunday goin 4 jammin..yes!!..haha..i love band practices..so fun..can release anythn there..haha.. im totally craving like shit 4 a new guitar.d lefthanded ibanez..i wan it.. its love at first sight..aww..i cant take my mind of it..im gonna rob bentley music centre n d ibanez is mine!! mine! mine!! i wan randy rhoad jackson guitars as wel..im in love wit so many guitars, oh my god..i tak setia to 1 guitar..haha..im a guitar PLAYA..XD..wtf..i gettin high dy..OH!! reminder to her if shes readin tis, i stil love HUA more than guitars..hahaha..miss ya lots...XD!@#$%^@#$%^&#$%^&.. signin off..

OH YEA!

2007-08-07T09:21:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WAI LOK n SAIFUL!!

P.S: support d underground metal hardcore scene..YEA!!

Review.......

2007-08-07T08:45:00.000+08:00

a review of last whole week..yea it is minggu bahasa..kinda sucky week though..wat shit minggu bahasa it is..we dun do anythn other then watchin performance..

MOnday:
I din come to skul..konnonnya sick..but true..yea i am sick..n i love it..i not comin to skul..not stayin bak til 4.15..at home play pc n guitar...start on pc saw huamin on9..tipu me say nvr go to skul..sepak dia..haha..then full tima guitarin tat day...mind cant concentrate on studyin..coz IM SICK

Tuesday:
Another fuckin day of goin to skul..yea..go to skul..bla bla bla bla..as usual routine..hear jamaliah shit voice..norma shitty voice..n all those shit..screwd it..it sux..not tat good day..go home..watch ultraman at 6.30..

Wednesday:
it was suppose to b a good day..but it turns out a very bad day at nite..wen i was ask sumthn unpleasant..hmm..it kinda bothered me..not kinda..it did bothered me real badly..i duno wat to do tat time..i cant say anythn...*tears rollin*..

Thursday:
cool..i got emo..yea..its true..im becomin semakin emo.. but sumthn good did happen..yea..not gonna express it alot here..keep it to myself..haha.. another normal day..

Friday:
another day..another ending to d week..performance in skul..its kinda boring..lucky phooisze is there to kacau..haha..so fun..XD..

Saturday:
In d morning waited 4 wai lok to arrrive in front of my house..got our way to timesqaure by takin lrt..had to go collect my hp..but fuck it! last min only they say its d battery prob afta i test d phone n it dun work..FUCK U NOKIA CENTRE!!..kinda pissed afta tat..then go to d cinema..harrpy potter is 11.30 n 4.30 only..we missed d 11.30 n then decide tat we go to galaxy ampang to watch..actually i feel kinda lazy to go bak to watch there..but wai lok wans to watch harry potter real badly..so no choice..b4 tat..we walk to bentley music centre...so hapi! i found an IBANEZ lefthanded guitar..yea..everythn complete there..d sound fuckin metals..haha..ok! confirm im gonna get tat guitar.gonna bug my dad 4 it..im crazy 4 a new guitar..i really need 1 now..
afta tat, we had a long lunch in mcdonald,..sit n talk n findin d time 4 d harry potter movie in galaxy ampang..then we walk bak to sungei wang..wat a coincedence..we met mandy n felicia in sungei wang on our way bak..we follw them up to d skatin alley n met up wit suyee, howard,wei zhen, yong jian, n sumore i 4got d name..afta we talk n talk then me n wailok decide to go bak to galaxy ampang..we manage to catch d 3.30 movie n thk wateva tat theres not much ppl lining up..its a fuckin miracle..haha
Afta d movie, adi called me to go to his house 4 his bday party..last min i culdn get anythn 4 him..i had difficulty searchin 4 his house..i took d cab n cost me rm4 d reach his house..sad shit man..haha..his house is cool..dam big bungalow..wow..beautiful plus wit swimmin pool in courtyard..there i met wit hanif, emir,nick, nazri, n a sum new frens i knew there..wwe had loads of fun...alot of ppl got drunk n its real funny..d guys did sum jammin session up stairs...then go drunk..every1 go crazy..i was kinda dizzy myself as well..haha..got bak home at 11.30pm..whole day out..n i manage to sms while out d whole day!.so terror man!!

Sunday:
Go hi-tea..makan makan makan n come home guitarin all d while..msgin also of coz...ok tats all..

now in pc lab bloggin..its like d only time i can blog is now..ah,fuckin dun feel good now..haha..signin off..

P.S: lies brings deceit....

2007-07-30T01:53:00.000+08:00

LAYER 1: On the outside

Name: Boey..Billy Boey..*muka poyo*..XD
Birth Date: 5th feb 1991
Current Status: study n heavy metal music
Eye Colour: Dark brown i tink, i wan white..
Hair Colour: Black...

Layer 2: On the inside

My Heritage: The BOEY family..totally rare n sounded weird n im proud of it..
My Fears: Losing sum1 dearly n important to me
My Weaknesses: studying
My Perfect Pizza: JANJI MORE CHEESE!!

Layer 3: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

My First Thoughts Waking Up: "alamak..lazy to wake up la!"
My Bed Time: mostly on 12 to 1am
My Most Missed Memories: i got sum but cant tel which d most

Layer 4: My Pick

Pepsi or Coke: coke..not tat sweet n more gaseous than pepsi
McDonalds or Burger King: burgers from burger king, french fries from mcdonald
Single or Group Dates: Single date la 4 sure..private private
Adidas or Nike: dun giv a dam...
Tea or Nestea: Tea!
Chocolate or Vanilla: CHOCOLATE!
Cappucino or coffee: COFFEE!

Layer 5: Do You..

Smoke: erm...
Curse: yea..lots
Take A Shower: everyday la..
Have A crush: wit d 1 i crush 4 months months n months ago
Go To School: yeap..
Married: goin to....lalalalala
Believe In Youself: sumtimes but most of d times yea..
Think You're A Health Freak: Im a freak

Layer 6: In The Past

Drink Alcohol: Yup.. good gettin drunk
Gone To The Mall: yup..4 sure
Been On Stage: OF COZ
Eaten Sushi: of coz la ngong ngong question betul
Dyed Your Hair: nvr b4 but wanna..

Layer 7: Have You Ever..
Played A Stripping Game: YES!! n i get to stripped!..yay!!
Changed Who You Were To Fit In: use to..but now i hate being anythn of any1..jus b myself..

Layer 8: Are You Hoping To..
Get Married: hmm..to sum1 hu is gonna read tis..PLS MARRY ME QUICK B4 SUM1 TAKE ME AWAY!!

Layer 9: In A Girl
Best Eye Colour: black or dark brown or brown
Best Hair Colour: baby blue colour?..haha..black is nice enuf
Short or Long Hair: long n short *depends on wat short hair style*

Layer 10: What You Were Doing *29 july 2007, sunday*

A Minute Ago: bloggin
An Hour Ago: guitarin
Four And A Half Hours Ago: eatin nasi goreng pattaya
A Month Ago: practicin 4 d hulu kelang hard kore gig
A Year Ago: becoming a notty boy..XD

Layer 11: Finish The Sentences

I Love: HUA MIN 1st on d top , heavy metal 2nd way way way way way way below her
I Feel: GOOD but SICK
I Hate: studying
I Hide: stuf tat i bought secretly without my parents noticin it
I Miss: HUA MIN
I Need: to improve in my studies*terpaksa*, especially all my science subject n add maths, improve my band, put more metal in it, make more songs of my own, learn more bout d way of life, giv HER comfort n happiness n im hapi doin tat =D..

siginin off

Tis weekend..saturday n sunday..review

2007-07-30T00:57:00.000+08:00

D weekend was ful lof activities..good start afta those freaking assessment..gosh..it really does cost me to squeeze out my peach colour brain juice out..saturday wen 4 d ILTS thng..yea..d ILTS..interact stuf..no formal uniform n i gotta wear tat shrink up t shirt..lucky i got a shirt to wear on top of it where sum of my frens tot i jus wanna pan yeng..swt.. wel.i was expectin alot of ssg to come..c c turn out all form 3 din come except terrence d new vice president..i tot there was a boycott goin on..haha..soon to find out they all culd hav receove wrong info tat it is cancel..so its jus me,sonia,lydia,hannah,audrey,nick,terrence,mei ni..d seminar is quite good but i cant believe i fall aslp in front of d rotarian in a group discussion..i was sittin like a foot in front of him..jus in front n i fall aslp..i din realise n i tot i was awake all d while..shit, i slept wit my eye open i tink..my frens said i fal aslp but i tot i din..WTF!..then, i volunteer to do d presentation afta tinkin so hard 4 it..haha..its fun though eventho im trembling like shit..serious, its so obvious til sum of d interactors told me my hand was shakin wen i hold d paper..ok ok..i duwan elaborate so detail here..hav few stuf happen there..n i got tease by my whole frens bout sumthn..aah!!..n d incident happen at d lrt station..funny shit..hahaha..
Later afta d seminar, i wen to timesquare wit sonia..as she said she wanna buy sumthn n im so free n got ntg to do..i jus say ok LETS GO SHOPPIN..haha.turns out its only me n her..others duwanna join..sad sad..d more d merrier la.. we walk around..then enter shops..then we buy stuf ina gals shop..wel..lucky she brought me there..i get 2 buy sumthn..it took me like duno how long to search 4 a nice wan..hehe..wel..lucky theres 50% discount..oh, n we met Jiyni n Andrea in borders..wat a coincedence..on d looks it seems like both parties r shocked..haha..wel..afta borders..we wen out into a duno do wat session..we jus walk n talk til we realise we r walkin 1 whole round in d same place..haha..then..we met Afiq n his gang..again i was WTF! hahaha Afiq WASSUP BRO!..haha..then buy sum food..bla bla bla..walk to LRT..took train to cempaka..my mouth was tired afta d whole time of talkin n talkin..finnally a rest..end of story 4 saturday.. P.S: hail d new president..XDXD

Sunday..woke up in d morning..i m so excited 4 d jammin session on sunday..its so like centuries din jam..n i so badly wanna jam..i came d last to d jam studio..its me,hanif,azim only n d guest r aisha n adi n vj..adi, long time no c him..cool hair colour he got now..hehe..home schoolin..so good..we jam sum new songs n play our "classic"..we jammed im not okay by my chemical romance, master up sum 'unholy confession' by avenged sevenfold,bat country by avenged sevenfold, chapter 4 also by avenged sevenfold, abit of dying in my arms by trivium, n hallowed be thy name by iron maiden..shaun cant make..n i gotta sing..i mean SCREAM..yea!!..i love singing hallowed be thy name..scream out their lyrics..so shiok..it makes me feel like a total heavy metal demon there..haha..azim did sum recordin wit d help of aisha, n its d 1st time i play giler,as if we r doin a live show..i promise i gonna do tat sumday on stage, im really like a drunken guy playin gtr n azim recorded it ^.^, we r gonna do lidat in front of d teachers sumday..nyahahaha..afta d jam we talk n talk outside d jam studio wit d whole group wit abang bally from d studio..he talks alot..he tells alot interestin stories n experience..came bak home afta lunch n i realise im gonna hav sore throat rite afta a round of growls n screams..haha..so good..b4 finishin up fruit basket anime, huamin called up, then i call, then she call, talk n talk n talk..n her sis is funny..XD.. start watchin d last few episode of fruit basket while phooisze hu seems bored msg me..n i reply her..til she stop..hahaha..at nite i almost gonna wack up an indian guy b4 dinner..sum incident bout my dads car accidentally bump his car, tat guy talks too much..my mum said i shud control my temper..grrrr.. at home guitarin, til now..blog out my stuf..yea..not a bad weekend afta assessment afta all.. wanted to go 4 NAPALM DEATH gig on 1st september..dun tink my mum like me goin there..i wanna bring my lil bro along..he nids experience.. escape d fate is good..sounds so atreyu-like..

signin off..

postless....

2007-07-25T07:11:00.000+08:00

ntg much to blog bout now..jus buat bodoh here only..

anyway, i duno..i had been takin many strolls in d park..i took strolls in d park wen i dun feel good n its like almost everyday afta skul i wil b havin a 20mins to 30mins walk in d park..im gonna turn green..wat i dun feel good?..wat m i tinkin?..wat m i really feeling?.......

Im demented

2007-07-24T08:23:00.000+08:00

i enjoy living in darkness..i enjoy living in d world of d extreme..i enojy d view of d gallow poles..i enjoy satanism..i enjoy d view of burning churches..i enjoy ppl i hate picking a fight wit me..etc etc..more to come..

in d fuckin pc lab...doin shit here..postin sum shiity blog..listenin to hallowed be thy name..assessment test..i dun like doin it..its shit..i got no idea..su yee chocolates rocks..i dun feel very good..su yee!!giv me more chocolates!!

.....signin off...

AHAHAHAAH!!

2007-07-21T21:21:00.000+08:00

GUES WAT!! yea!!..got into another band..i kno it sounded weird as it was founded by a form 1 gal..haha..she writes good music 4 her own taste..well eventho i kinda hate pop..haha..she decided to play goth metal wit me..oh my gosh!her voice fuckin beautiful..even vivian got so MAD wit her voice..wow!!..yea..finally d search 4 a female vocal is gone..lacuna coil songs, nightwish, sum cradle of filth..here we go!..goth expandition..woohoo!..oh yea..tat gal im talkin bout, shes DAPHNE..nyeh nyeh nyeh..shes stil single, so any guys gals feel free..hahaha..gonna giv her more metal n metal n metal!!..n if her bro darren reads tis, "yo man, dun worry, metal is safe 4 lil gals, it doesnt scratch, ur sis got d potential"..n she knos sum sort of music director tat i duno..hahaha..good good..expand my teachins there..muahahaha

ok..i had been stressin out wit studies 4 my assessment and moral projecy n homework...aah,..it sux..finally huamin had finish her pmr trial, relaxin til a day b4 second trial she is gonna..hehe..i had been missing her alot..aah..gosh, i so love love love her.. oh yea, huamin is even cuter than shana..eh, beat anime character wor..proud anot?..hahahaha..wish her lots luck 4 her pmr trial results..

skul sux...boring..but seems im gettin along wel wit sum ppl..jus feelin like it only..i jus sang hallowed be thy name n played along wit hanif d song in front of d lobby..i cant belive i jus shriek like dani filth n scream out MUTHAFUCKA!! real loud...oh shit.. i hope nobody hears tat especially mr khaw..so wat neway, metal is like tat..extreme is worse..get bsl 4 screamin muthafucka is ntg i gues..hahaha..i so love singing hallowed be thy name...hahaha..

got a post in interact club..1st post of my life..wow!!..under a gal junior a year from me..=,="..but i gues we wil do a good team though..hehehe...

i wan a new guitar!!hanif jus got 1!!..aaah!!...

Boreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed..

2007-07-17T08:40:00.000+08:00

Now in d ict lab doin shit n stuf..yea..its real boring here..n im slpy..wtf, i wasted my slp wakin up so early so tat i can get to sku learly but my dad n bro takin their sweet time..n i was like "y d fuck i wake tat early..wastin my darn slp 4 another half an hour!!"..great..now im slpy..i wonder how d hell im gonna survive 4 d rest of d day in skul..

came to skul..walk around..really boring..hua min wen to find protracter sumthn lidat n i duno wat d hell i m doin walkin around like a lost ghost roamin d street aimlessly..wel..she havin her pmr trial..so GOOD LUCK 4 it..sure can do wel..

haiz..no metal music here..youtube here cacat abit..heavy metal music i wan it in my ears now...aaahH!!!..im dying...dying alone..dying miserably..aaahh!!..

last sunday me n hanif wen 2 herman li ibanez guitar clinic..wow man..theres like i gues tons of faggotly great super guitarist there..n herman li of coz is d god or devil-like guitarist there..herman was like so superb wit his speed n playing..furthermore,its dam melodic...i found out he only plays metal..n yes..!!..im like him..i only play metal metal n metal!!..i ask him a couple of question regardin his music life..n he has loAds of sense of humour..he plaed sum songs by dargonforce 4 d crowd..he played revolution deathsquad, through the fire and flames, valley of the damned, operation ground and pound,my spirit will go on, etc...his sweep picking is like superb-ly near perfect..d sound is so dam cun..and accurate fingers n he claim he din use much time practicin it..instead he practice jujitsu more than playing guitar..wow..lastly, he makes fun of sam totman alot..haha...really funny..afta comin bak from d guitar clinic..makes me wanna play dragonforce songs..i jus learned half of valley of the damned last nite..haha

through the fire n flames is in my ears now..at least there is dragonforce.lolx.. ah..I fucking hate being ignored.

gonna stop here..signing off

Children of BOREDOM

2007-07-15T03:11:00.000+08:00

yes yes..i am a child of BOREDOM..coz tis couple weeks im freakin bored n now i duno wat m i suppose to blog at tis hour in d morning..aah..shit..currently listenin to sum DYING FETUS while bloggin tis..born in a casket is d song..cool..ntg to listen..jus mastered a song by roadrunner united = blood and flames...

2mrw another day..go eat n slp..n sum guitar clinic..yea..cool..i wanna JAM!!...im bored!!

Walk in d woods of angels in disguised

2007-07-14T01:26:00.000+08:00

How come nice ppl tis days arent nice at all?

its trues..they r nice..but wats their true nice side..is tat their NICE..fuckin so called nice ppl..n bad ppl r disgrace tinkin they r al lbad instead they hav a more decent n sincer heart than d NICE..nice ppl tis days r jus a heartless fiends in angels dressed..they caught d heart of ppl coz they r nice..yes..they r nice..but they arent nice at all..i agree how nice they can b..they can b d freakin nice freakos on earth..d ppl hu is considered un-nice or bad..is sumthn to look about..pity not so nice ppl hu is look down by ppl hu jus cant c more than meets d eye..

i hav seen n experienced sum of those so called nice ppl being nice..wat fakers..ppl hu follows god..yea..theres sumthn wrong wit them..i tot god is teachin them good stuf n tis n tat shit..y r those nice or good ppl being a shit loads of an ass..yea true..u can find tat alot..especially those hu go church..u can c alot there..honest fuckingly true..n they can say satanism is evil wen they duno wat isit..n tinkin they r being good goin against sumthn evil..alot of so called religious ppl r jus selfish mindless assholes tat only tink of themselve..they wan pride to b proud off, money face,lookin down on others tinkin they r d best..n wat mothafuckas tink heavy metal music is evil?..so wat if its music from hell..like those mainstream pop, rap shit..yea..they r soft but wat r they..they do tis 4 fame n at last they got caught in drugs n all stuf...ppl hu listen to heavy metal or into satanism doesn had to b bad..im not promotin any of those shit there..

good ppl hu is tryin to b good..jus stay d fuck away..n go bak to ur hell where ur suppose to belong..not goin to heaven u r..GOOD n NICE ppl look in d mirror 1st b4 wantin to b wat u r coz u cant b anythn other than urself..face d fact faggots.

Down wit d sickness of current occurence..

2007-07-14T01:09:00.000+08:00

how do u feel if sum1 is talkin bout u behind ur bak?

how do u feel if a fren of urs suddenly hav tis kind bad impression on u n start being kinda cold on u?

how do u feel if theres sumthn goin on behind ur bak n u dun even kno it but u dun wanna kno it as it wil kill ur heart off 4 sure n giv u a hard fuckin time to stand d fucked up again?

how do u feel wen sum1 suddenly dislike u?

how do u feel if ur being hide sumthn bout sumthn tats real important behind ur bak?

how do u feel if ur being dishonestified?

how do u feel if sum1 dislike wat u like d most n insultin it?

how do u feel like being a loser to sum1 hu has been a winner n u achieve ntg but ur own self deceit?

how does it feels like seeing thngs tat arent meant 4 u to c n feel wat u arent suppose to feel n hear wat u arent suppose to hear?

how do u feel like being selfish to ppl hu deserve to b treated selfishly?

how do u feel like on ur frens frens hus makin fuckin shit remarks on u?

How do u feel being underestimated?

How do u feel wen ppl tink u r of sumthn tat ur not even a single of tat sumthn?

how do u feel like if u feel everythn above n more n more shit to come into ur faggot not meant to live life of ur own?.

sum ppl feel all those n alot ppl dun understand how tat sum ppl feel.. y m i writin tis?..its d all true fact..

we wil rise..fuck d maggots of societies..

Downfall of Sins

2007-07-14T00:56:00.000+08:00

*DEATH GROWLS/SCREAMS*
This time i let myself go from this sin
my soul has done
Im free from my torment but not forever
I did my killing once more in front
if the eyes of my father
I like the blood like wine of my victims
Ifeel the blood of the devil
flowing in my veins
I cannot let myself be controlled once more

This world is mine
This moment they wil die
This hell is mine
This moment they wil be burned

I shall live to die another day
for you, i burn in hell to see another you
when im born, theres already no reason to live
I know this wicked days falling upon me

I feel this pain, right from my heart
I try let go, my soul is burning
I enjoy, the flame in my flesh
I am a sinner who tasted his own blood
once i slit my wrist
But this time in on a desperate time
when i feel depressed

VALENTINE PROPHETIAN

2007-07-02T17:53:00.000+08:00

Valentine Prophetian -

formed recently 4 d IU nite audition. got tough time makin out d names. so we jus combine d name 'valentine' tat is tot by azim n 'prophetian' tat is tot by me..n turns out into Valentines Prophetian..emerged from d depth of ssg..students in d band plays metal n punk 2gether..we culdnt make into d Iu nite coz of d lame judge at d audition hu doesn appreciate sum sort of true music to b heard..we made our 1st gig debut out in smk hulu kelang recently..we got close as a band n frens..nex gig soon to come, hopefully..we wil b playin heavy n harder tis time..n sum of us r writin original songs.

D band was originally wit eugene n possibly michael..but eugene had to concentrate more on his studies so he culdnt take on d role of a rhythm guitar..soon, we tot of other guitarist n hanif jus walk pass n say hi n i was like "yes! hanif d 1"..d young form 2 talent..hu plays guitar mostly heavy metal music..he do a great rhythm guitarist n sum bak up lead n sings..our band became heavier wit d appearance of hanif in d band..n we got shaun up 4 d vocal..valentines prophetian is ready to kick sum fuckin ass..

d band consist of 5: Billy - lead guitar/bak up vocal
Hanif - rhythm guitar/bak up vocal
Shaun - lead vocal
Azim - drummer
Nick - Bass

SMK HARD KORE!!

2007-07-02T03:53:00.000+08:00

oh yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

D FUCKAS ROCKAS R THERE IN SMK HULU KELANG AKA SMK HARD KORE!!.

holy shit man..its my band 1st out of skul gig..we r like playin in front of a more mature, agrressive audience than those sumwat softcore shits in our skul..wel..its d 1st time smk hulu kelang did sumthn big..thx 2 Jimi n Khairul aka hyper fuck shit drummer from hardcore punk band Civil Disorder *yea man, respect, double pedal giler sial!*..

Our band reaches there by 8.45 to 9am..sumthn lidat..we r liek 1 of d earliest band to reach there..haiz..if not slp more la..but hu cares..semangat main rock metal gila babi is there..haha..its like d 1st time i step into d skul since last end year..wow..shit..all new billy enterin bak his former skul..wow..met bak loads of my teachers..great to c them..haha..we waited 4 d equipments to b set up..d fellas tat supply d equipment did sum sound check wit it by playin sum cool riff..

D 1st band to perform is dinie's band..semangat smk hulu kelang is ther now..haha..they did wel wit their 1 song session..Nickleback = the animal..too bad dinie hurt his finger real bad so he cant solo up there..dwayne can sing..only he sounds like rappin..not bad overall..nex is ours since theres no band goin to perform..but wow..i din expect d crowd to b massive..n gues wat..MEI JI is there to watch us perform..wat a surprise..she say she dun like all d heavy shit rock thng but she abandon her limbo thng to watch our performance n supportin us..TQ OJOSAN..haha..ur really nice..ehehe..n u like it as well wit ur ice creamian gang..haha..we did well wit d 4 songs tat is our original short intro song ramones/iron maiden = hey ho lets go/fear of the dark, My chemical romance = I dun love u, Metallica = enter sandman..hahahaha..wel..i was like so friggin nervous up there..alot of sweat drip onto my guitar..i shud hav cut my self n let d blood drip down my guitar..EVIL..haha..d other members did super well..shaun did good vocals, hanif did good guitar rhythm,azim did good drumming, n nick did a good bass..everytin was like more than we expected..n we love d crowd..haha..we did mosh pits wit d other members n our frens..it was superb..yea..mosh pit n it hurts my butt now..but hu giv a fuck rite..haha..head bangin thru sum muse shit there..those guys r good..hahaha..n did a cool mosh pit..not bad 4 skul level..haha..

soon later..we watch loads of bands performin..n here comes d 2nd wave of crowd n bands..d pro bands..wow..we r like d tiny newbies guys there..n they r like..wow..holy shit..haha..civil disorder,the fridays, n electronica..experienced bands..later comes d 2nd last band tat is salt factory!!..yea!.they fuckin metal man!!..trivium,iron maiden n roadrunner united songs..fully loaded shit wit gtr solos..respect those form 5 fellas..
nex our band valentine prophetian perform again..tis time slightly differ, we exchange MCR to avenged sevenfold = unholy confession..jus sum part of it..n finally we did bak our enter sandman n fear of the dark..n YES!!..tat was d best moment all d guys came up on stage n jam around wit us..tats so cool!!..4 1st timers..we did really well..hopefully we can go 4 more gigs..n i kno tis gal there ..her name is Lex..Jimi's fren..shes real nice..she told me her skul is havin sum kind of event n wan us 2 perform sumwhere around july..yes!!WE SHALL..but i must study hard 1st b4 goin there..if not..no hpe 4 a new guitar n another gig..studies comes first now..hoho..

Too bad su yee n saiful culdn make it to d gig..haiz..n sum1 very very very important to me too cant make it..i practice hard 4 d MCR song tat she like..hopefully she got come to c us playin tat..but her PMR trials comin up..study comes first..yea..haha.. i had head pain, hand pain, body pain, butt pain, sore throat..i was sick n i did come to perform in d gig..screamin my sored up throat to d limits..wow..n now i got an MC..yipee!!..skip skul on monday...no PBSM 4 me..hahahaha..overall its was a super blast there..its like hell..music from hell rises up!!yea in smk hulu kelang HARD KORE!!..FUCK YA!!666..666!...666!!!....HARD KORE 666!!!!!...nex time there shall b black metal n extreme brutal death metal hopefully..muahahahaahahaahaha...keep on rockin smk hulu kelang.. i wan ssg to rock as hard as tat..but ssg sux musically..haha..allrite..stop here now..gotta rest..signin off wit blood...

LaVeyan Satanism

2007-06-28T20:13:00.000+08:00

THE NINE SATANIC STATEMENT:

1. Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence!

2. Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams!

3. Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit!

4. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted on ingrates!

5. Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek!

6. Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires!

7. Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his “divine spiritual and intellectual development,” has become the most vicious animal of all!

8. Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!

9. Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as He has kept it in business all these years!

THE ELEVEN SATANIC RULES OF THE EARTH:

1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

3. When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

9. Do not harm little children.

10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

THE NINE SATANIC SINS:

1. Stupidity—The top of the list for Satanic Sins. The Cardinal Sin of Satanism. It’s too bad that stupidity isn’t painful. Ignorance is one thing, but our society thrives increasingly on stupidity. It depends on people going along with whatever they are told. The media promotes a cultivated stupidity as a posture that is not only acceptable but laudable. Satanists must learn to see through the tricks and cannot afford to be stupid.

2. Pretentiousness—Empty posturing can be most irritating and isn’t applying the cardinal rules of Lesser Magic. On equal footing with stupidity for what keeps the money in circulation these days. Everyone’s made to feel like a big shot, whether they can come up with the goods or not.

3. Solipsism—Can be very dangerous for Satanists. Projecting your reactions, responses and sensibilities onto someone who is probably far less attuned than you are. It is the mistake of expecting people to give you the same consideration, courtesy and respect that you naturally give them. They won’t. Instead, Satanists must strive to apply the dictum of “Do unto others as they do unto you.” It’s work for most of us and requires constant vigilance lest you slip into a comfortable illusion of everyone being like you. As has been said, certain utopias would be ideal in a nation of philosophers, but unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, from a Machiavellian standpoint) we are far from that point.

4. Self-deceit—It’s in the “Nine Satanic Statements” but deserves to be repeated here. Another cardinal sin. We must not pay homage to any of the sacred cows presented to us, including the roles we are expected to play ourselves. The only time self-deceit should be entered into is when it’s fun, and with awareness. But then, it’s not self-deceit!

5. Herd Conformity—That’s obvious from a Satanic stance. It’s all right to conform to a person’s wishes, if it ultimately benefits you. But only fools follow along with the herd, letting an impersonal entity dictate to you. The key is to choose a master wisely instead of being enslaved by the whims of the many.

6. Lack of Perspective—Again, this one can lead to a lot of pain for a Satanist. You must never lose sight of who and what you are, and what a threat you can be, by your very existence. We are making history right now, every day. Always keep the wider historical and social picture in mind. That is an important key to both Lesser and Greater Magic. See the patterns and fit things together as you want the pieces to fall into place. Do not be swayed by herd constraints—know that you are working on another level entirely from the rest of the world.

7. Forgetfulness of Past Orthodoxies—Be aware that this is one of the keys to brainwashing people into accepting something new and different, when in reality it’s something that was once widely accepted but is now presented in a new package. We are expected to rave about the genius of the creator and forget the original. This makes for a disposable society.

8. Counterproductive Pride—That first word is important. Pride is great up to the point you begin to throw out the baby with the bathwater. The rule of Satanism is: if it works for you, great. When it stops working for you, when you’ve painted yourself into a corner and the only way out is to say, I’m sorry, I made a mistake, I wish we could compromise somehow, then do it.

9. Lack of Aesthetics—This is the physical application of the Balance Factor. Aesthetics is important in Lesser Magic and should be cultivated. It is obvious that no one can collect any money off classical standards of beauty and form most of the time so they are discouraged in a consumer society, but an eye for beauty, for balance, is an essential Satanic tool and must be applied for greatest magical effectiveness. It’s not what’s supposed to be pleasing—it’s what is. Aesthetics is a personal thing, reflective of one’s own nature, but there are universally pleasing and harmonious configurations that should not be denied.

Gotta blog sumthn...

2007-06-28T00:03:00.000+08:00

helo...again bak to bloggin..ntg to do..dun wan sia sia usaha hua min to make such gothicness beautiful blog..ok lets c it s black plus metal..or shud say death plus metal blog..neh..wateva u call it..nvr feel so tension in my life b4...studies, practice guitar, n song writing..all in 1..im gonna die early le without smokin..chemist,physic,addmaths,biology...r all "BEAUTIFUL" subjects tat i so "LOVE" studyin..i fail of them...its d bestest achievement i eva had since standard 1..cool..failin 4 in a row..n my position in d skul is remained under threat..my dad says "rather take u out of d skul n buy a new guitar 4 u"..well..i dun wan a new guitar..i rather study here til over form 5 then later hav a new guitar, i dun mind tat..i jus wanna remain being in tis skul..n its fuckin challeng where i must do well tis end year exam to remain..jus tink REMAIN REMAIN REMAIN N REMAIN!!..

1st gig comin up in smk hulu kelang on 1st July..cant wait to play in it..i jus wanna perform perform n perform..gettin my band into d underground scene n hopefully wit sum of our original songs tat r soon to b completed 4 jammin..get ourself a contract to record..but thngs seems hard to work out..my songs r brutal while d other writes more mainstream sounded pop punk music..jus bout to finish writin d 4th songs *delayed coz of studies n practices*..got idea 4 d 5th song... d hardest part of it composin a solo..fuckin shit scales must b kinda accurate to get d sounds rite..2 b honest..i nvr take any theory lessons b4..im self taught..haiz..

in skul..hmm..kinda suck at times..stressed out wit understandin d concepts of all d science subjects n add maths..how i wish i culd jus b studyin d art of hardcore everyday..i felt grudges comin on me..haha..its cool..lalalalalaalalalala..

d lala mui..ooops.sry..i mean hua min is busy wit her sej proj..hmm..doin sum sort of perkahwinan adat thng..tats nice but hard..unlike mine..boring..bout tokoh kemerdekaan sumthn lidat..adat perkahwinan thng they shud make it go further indetails wat happens later on d weddin nite..n chinese traditions of puttin a female n male chicken under d matin bed to kno d gender of d child d wife gonna conceive..hua min! ask la black metal weddin like how?!..hahaha..

k..so far my story ends here..nite..rock on hard n heavy

IU nite..

2007-06-24T02:27:00.000+08:00

I was expectin d best in IU nite..but..it turns out d other way round..i wanted to perform real badly 4 IU nite..i picked out sum good british songs..fear of the dark by iron maiden..n my other members pick out hey ho lets go by ramones..we wen 4 d shitty audition..expectin we wil come out to qualify..coz we had practice like shit 4 hours..to hav d freakin rite timin especially on my fuckin solo..tat i totally mastered..dam..n gues..wat we r not talented n music not famous..tats wat d freakin judges said..fuck u judges!!..*except amanda, keegan,n hannah,sylvia,sonia, n d 1 below form 5*..mainstream freaks..iron maiden is d fuckin best band in england..not muse!..ur decision makes me sick til my stomach til i puke out distorted blood to ur face..ur faggot, non music appreciator, pop heads, hus into a cup of pee instead of a tea..2 faces bitches,..good..now i feel better...aahh...

IU nite on d day..prepare stuf...wow..whole day exempted from class.so hapi..finally on IU nite..well..my frens from my former skul came late..n d performance seems so darn boring..i felt so sakit hati to watch d band performance..so i jus bring my frens to walk out tour d skul..well..at least its a good thng too..can meet bak all my frens..but felt bad..cant entertain them tat much..felt bad 4 my band mates too hu work hard 2 perform..but all spoilt..sum of them sakit hati to come..ish..dun care nex is d SMK HULU KELANG carnival gig...rock my old skul out..bring up d underground..take them down..yea!!!hahahahaah!!

1 thng tat i like on tat IU day d most..i spend whole lots of time wit sum1..d whole day being wit her from mornin til nite..n its stil not enuf..tq 4 givin good hospitality to my frens btw..hehe..miss u

ok..done 4 d dawn..im off..Hit d lights!.

House warming

2007-06-17T02:19:00.000+08:00

Aah..2day got house warming..yes..can c those junior good frens of mine from my former skul..dwayne, zu liang, dinie, n hu else?..hmm..egg pei jun bobby..*im not gay wit u man, if ur readin tis*..hahaha..a freakin hse warmin by dwaynes family coz he shifted to a new house in bukit antarabangsa..was expectin alot of ppl to attend but all tat turn up at his house his zu liang..well.ok also la..long time nvr c him since sum days wen i visited d tuition centre..dinie out sumwhere i dun giv a fuck where isit..

HAvin difficulty searchin 4 dwayne house in taman oakleaf park..wtf is tat name..wit english n malay version..hahax..finally found master dwaynes house..n yea..its a nice house..especially dwaynes room!..its so cool..made an attic im d roof..n its like a place of his own..gosh.he can jus bring a gal if he had 1 to hav 1 hot nite up there without parents noticin unless if d gal moans too loud.he had all his stuf up there..guitars, pc, n wat else..duno..afta dinner i decided to him to search 4 his lil sis vanessa to hang out wit..in her room..its like a gossip group up where we re talkin mostly bout sum bitch in my old skul..haha..its fun though..long time no talk to her.. n yea she changed alot..hmm..can say shes cuter.

we had our usual talk like we did wen we re bak in d days in d same skul..me d same ol' sex master talkin to them d dirtiest thng any1 can imagine..haha..they stil LOL at it as usual..yea..d same ol' us..too bad..d whole group is not there..if not i gonna do a demo dy..dwayne can play guitar n he can b super in no time..i taught him d intro 4 chapter 4 by avenged sevenfold..he learns fast..he is another soon-to-be metalhead like me..another 1 of my victim..haha..stay heavy dwayne!!.. dumb zu liang, jus wen off home without sayin bye..im gonna kill him once i c him in 2tion..or d carnival.. its feels good meetin up wit sum ol' good frens since d day i left my former skul..

Yay..nice..

2007-06-10T16:17:00.000+08:00

I officially had a band of my own..well it started of wit nick hu call me to practice wit him 4 sum kind of occasion in june at duno wat wat crap skul. I agreed n it was only me n him then. Then he said wan drums n bass, he told me d drums wil b done by azim n bass by eugene. But thngs didn turn out well for him being bassist so nick n eugene exchange positions,nick is d bassist rite til now n eugene d rhythm guitar playa.

We had sum prob wit d skul as d skul dun wanna supply equipment 4 us. So d whole thing was cancel..hmm..quite dissappointed 4 me though coz i wanna perform coz i nvr perform in my life b4..hav been longing to perform in band since for 2 years..then i heard d news of battle of d bands in sbu..like last years battle of the bands..i immediately let d members kno tat tis may b another good chance 2 perform..its a competition as well..nick was excited bout it n so do d other members..we kinda had an almost complet line up band except 4 a vocalist..we had problems searchin a 4 a vocalist tat time meanwhile we had our 1st band jammin session tat is 2gether wit nick n azim..jus d 3 of us tat time..it was not bad..played our 1st band song 'thx 4 ntg by sum 41'.. fyi, im like d only really giler budak metal in d group, prefered underground music more than mainstream unlike d others..i wanna play sum metal..so i came up wit a famous not so heavy kind of metal Enter Sandman by metallica..our 1st metal song..we did it quite well, eugene did great rhythm guitar,nick is poundin on d heavy sounded bass n azim did superb wit d drums *only if he learned double pedal it wil loads fuckin heavy n cool*, while i did my part by blastin d solo..d feeling of it..so undescribable..enter sandman was a big success..finally we decided playin metal as num 1 choice of battle of d bands...oh yea..n we got shawn from form 1D as d vocalist

We practice almost every week..d enter sandman is gettin better n better..we jam at Excess jam studio..d best studio i been so far..d abang there r real nice n experience fellas.. i got a sad news though afta visitin d teacher n student incharge of d battle thng in my former 2tion center..she said d botb is cancel coz they changed a new principle..im like so fuck off by tat..we had been practicin so hard..really hard 4 it..my spirit drop 4 quite awhile..then theres a chance 4 me 2 perform 4 d japanese exchange students sumwhere in duno wen i cant recall it..playin yellowcard song 1 year 6 month..sumthn lidat..but i turn down d offer to perform along..i dun like d song..i wan sum heavy shit..y cant show those japanese students malaysia can rock hard too..at least playin classic rock also can..hmm..dun mean any criticism here..jus speakin out wat i tink..

we stopped jammin 4 awhile n b4 d mid term exam i was ask to perform not wit my own band but wit saiful,antonio n jordan..im quite desperate 2 perform tat time so i jus afree to join eventho i not really fancy d song only one by yellowcard..afta d exam..we practice everyday n get to kno my own band is performin as well..couple days b4 performance they need a lead guitar n i unnoticely, join wit them too to perform..hehe..its cool though, doin own lil shreddin on d solo..i practice wit both of d team..wit saiful team n my own band..

D day comes..teachers day celebration..yeah..d day i gonna 1st time perform in front of d crowds wit 2 bands..i was kinda nervous goin out 4 d 1st time tat is wit saiful band..i was not lookin a d crowd..lookin down all d way..I cant screw up there..my gf is there watchin as well..tat memang got tension..but lucky it turns not tat bad..I rushed out 2 get my electric gtr n prepare to perform wit my own band..its an original song made by azim..a tribute song..i had no time to sound check n turns out my gtrs kinda too loud..hahax..hu cares neway..d song started n i reach to d solo part..i really enjoy playin d solo..includin d outro solo..i dun even care wether d crowd is there anot..i jus play it like im in my own world..d feelings of shreddin in front..its jus so nice..quite best..superb endin to d song..every1 did their role includin me..afta d show..we tot of michael as d vocal..he is good..but we dun wanna kick shaun out as well..our 1st performance debut : vocal - Michael
rhythm gtr,vocal - Eugene
Bass - Nick
lead guitar - Billy *me*
Drums - Azim

nex big day..IU nite... we r a-yet-to-b-named band..we r called No Name temporarily..hmm..i wanna play more heavy metal..brutal ones......

Retribution

2007-06-09T02:38:00.000+08:00

This time I fight for my rights
Under this blackened night
I cannot deny the fact
That Im jus a sickened being
I shall rise and let the people see who the fuck I am

Land of the dead
Where Im born to be dead
To be seen as a fool
Valley of the damned
Where Im raise to be demented
To kill muthafuckas

I have lost the love for myself
With will to destroy
I can see what Im doing
With stars of despair
I gonna see you die like lil fuck, fuck, fuck....!!!!!

P.S: jus sum of d original shit tat randomly pop out..hee

I smell someone dying..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUA MIN!!

Tags..longest 1..wtf

better or not d better of all..

wat is god... part 3

wat is god.. part 2

wat is god.. part 1

d car..

Tis is d SHIT!

silent grudges..

tis is sumthn to feel...

sum old pic

confused..

random..

is this rite..

cant make it..

feelings

last saturday..

in dying days..

clueless

shitty day of tuesday on tis darn date

jus a short post...

god knos...

the bleeding

bout sum more of shits..

pissing d demon..

part of a story of a story

back to d days

yes..

...

tis boy here aint fine

my original family side

flashbacks..

sum kind of tag......

days of sufferin

Hatred

a day..

dwayne is gone

sum short listed stuf to say

a rivalry

tis is a blog

.....

.....

time for it....

sum sorta post..

Im bad..

..

YES

be strong..

......

c for urself..

COB

....

Recap of sumthn so important..

buried by new year..

death be not proud..

=D

fucking pantat..

tis..

wil any1

meta heads..my blog is jus so pretty wit 'nice words"..

fuckkkkky

colours of silence..

.....

back-flash..flash-back

wondering..

Tagged by Mei Ji aka Ojousan

me?..

the calm..

When Souls Depart

Its over..not!!

...........

FINALE...

SMEAR CAMPAIGN

meaning in tragedy confined

Down by dusk...

........

Survey tat i found...

sadness + ..... *forgive n forget*

My title has no meanin...

sadness + ..... forgive n forget